15 October 2009

Can’t wait to keep the promise

Over years I realized I was growing very quick. Many a morning I woke up wondering why I was doing what I was doing then. I regretted so many things I was doing that I often found myself slowly changing the course all together. It was not at all picnic having to start undoing things that had once been a part of me.
First was my anger. It was terrible. I was living with a devilish master and I didn’t know I was affecting people around me. If I had continued with that anger of mine today I would be all be myself. But I realized on time. People say it is very difficult to overcome it. I don’t remember facing difficulty because all I was doing was just not being angry when I feel like being. That’s when I realized how many people cared for me.
Then, it was my smoking habit. I don’t even remember how I quitted. Three years into the habit I was finding it funny; why am I taking smoke into my lungs when I very wisely know that it would do nothing more than bad on me? It was waste of time, money, health, and grace (most people think smoking is cool but in the eye of decent people it is erosion of character).
Drinking was interesting when bachelor. Once I started having family I looked like a fool, balancing myself on my feet when the rest of them are leaning on me. Nobody had to tell me anything, I just did what a responsible man should do.
Looking at my tattooed arm I might look like once-a-drug-addict but I swear I was a bad boy but not so bad as to take drug. I hate drugs. The reason I am growing wise and responsible is because I never used it at any point. If I had done it I might not have lived up to realize all these.
There were minute other things, which is fine even if not written.
Well I have finally given up this (one more) cheap habit of mine--chewing tobacco. After I quit smoking I picked this up. Everybody thinks this is a very filthy thing to do with my mouth. I often questioned myself and since it is so subtle I promised to leave it for a grand reason. I looked for reasons, something that would give me time enough yet. Then I thought perhaps I will leave it when my first book gets published. That sounded great to me, at least to would give me time to enjoy for quite sometime.
My memory is failing me now, my manuscript must be collecting dust on the publishers’ desk, and my lips are peeling and teeth and gum darkening. If I wait any longer I may not be left with lips to kiss my coming baby. I think I can’t wait to keep the promise. So for no special reason I stopped chewing tobacco, it is the fourth day now. Let the book get published years after, I have already kept the promise, for I couldn’t wait for a reason to do a good thing. Could there be a grander reason than the act of doing it?

Pictures used from Google. ( Picture 2 from http://www.ahajokes.com/fp043.html)

1 comment:

  1. Ohhhhh...that's how you have been before? Cheers for the changed New Passu....


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