19 January 2011

Unhappy New Year

After watching the beautiful sunset of 2010 in Samtse I prayed for a happy new year. The chill of death was strong in the air, and I could feel the wave coming closer. I knew life was preparing me for something bad. I lost no body in the Nepal air crash, then the Lampuri bus took away a student of mine. While I watched the sunset I was happy I escaped the season of death before it could come any closer.

But when the whole world was exchanging New Year greetings, going out for dinner, picnicking afar, hugging and loving and seeing all the joy in the world, I was crying. I lost my asha on 2nd January 2011. I can never accept it. When I went down to Samtse, we had a dinner together and I didn’t have a slightest clue that the dinner was going to be our last together.

We knew each other quite late in life, but I knew him best. We met every weekend and dinned together as if to compensate for all the times we lost so far. He reached out to me like no one has ever done. He took me down our family timeline that I long wanted to know. In him I saw myself. He would take me on a long walk and talk on different subjects. He was the best family man I knew- a great husband and father. I was so happy to have known him and be a part of his family. But I didn't know he was in a rush- as if he knew he was going to die- to tell me the story of our family which I never knew. 

I don't know if I can ever overcome the loss but as I look back in time I see reasons to smile; having met him, getting to love him, having the chance to be a part of his proud family and even as he was dying he was connecting me with the part of my family I have never known. I am happy that he lived a king's life. It's our misfortune that we lost him so early in his life. God loved him more. I shall miss him everyday of my life.


  1. Dear Passu,
    I offer my condolences and assure you that you will overcome the loss in due course. Death is not something you can bargain with - it will come to every single living being - there is no escape from it. Therefore, it is good to be prepared for it and accept that it will come eventually.

    What I will be happy to know is that your uncle died an easy death. That he did not suffer unnecessarily, that he did not cause avoidable misery to his children and relatives. The highest gift a person can give to his friends, family and relatives is that he goes quietly, quickly and without much ado.

    I do not pray to live to be a hundred years - what I pray for is a quiet, quick and uneventful demise - without causing any problems and misery to my family and friends. Having lived life to the fullest, it would be tragic to suffer and cause suffering to others - at the end of my journey.

  2. Right Yeshey, I once heard that a good person dies an easy death, which is what happen to my uncle. He enjoyed his life right till the day he passed away. He was always happy. He had all his dreams fulfilled.

    Your words are so comforting and I hope my cousins will get to read it and know that their father was blessed to have died that way. Thank you so much.

  3. my deepest condolences and and prayers for your loss. how dear the loss is, the pain in you speaks about it, but as yeshey sir pointed out, death is something that no one can escape, you should be prepared for it.
    i have lived most of my early days with my grandparents, and they died almost without even my knowledge. my parents have always tried hiding it from me..i knew after one month or so..i owe this life to one of them..and i could do nothing for him....but ai am opstimistic and happy that he left loving me and teaching me so many things....today he lives with my every thought and works...
    beautiful people will always live with us...the beautiful moments are the gifts of theirs...

  4. Thank you Sogyel. I am trying to feel better but the actually gravity of the loss is only picking up now as I realize that he really passed away... my only regret is that I spend only two years with him... we we made the most of the short time.

  5. sir life is so uncertain and we cant predict. death can occur any time and no body has control over it. at times earth seems to be a desolate place to live upon, esepcially when such tragic strikes on us, yet we should be informed that it remind us of death. there is nothing we can do. so lets pray for their soul to rest in peace!.


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