What is hubsonther? You might not have heard the word ever because I could only create it a week ago. Three torturing hours of invigilation duties throughout last week gave me room for meditating on a family concept I had in mind for quite sometime. Hubsonther is a noun. It is a stage in a man’s life when he is a son, husband and father together. It also refers to a man in this stage and therefore I am a hubsonther. By now you must have made out the three words I integrated; (Hub)by (Son) Fa(ther).
|
Hubsonther Family Tetrahedron |
Last month when my mother came to visit me I took my family out several times. During these visits to our regular places I would introduce my mother to the local friends and then I would jokingly introduce my wife and daughter too (whom they already know). Then I realized that I was a hubsonther and I silently beamed with pride.
Hubsonther is the most challenging period in a man’s life; having to please three different generations of people. My mother remained my highest priority ever since my childhood and she is proud of me for making her proud year after year. There are hundreds of stories my mother would share about me back in village. And that makes me a good son.
Wife is someone you choose from among the strangers and give her the best place in your life but often people land up growing distant from their bloodline after marriage in process of pleasing that one woman. But the fact of life is you only get to choose wife in life, not your mother, father or siblings not even your children. Therefore marriage is more than your personal love. Love is blind and often selfish therefore leave it aside while dealing with something as serious as marriage.
I have known my wife before I loved her, which is why she is a gift to my mother and when my mother appreciates the gift that becomes blessing for my wife. That is not an easy task to bring two women of different generation into harmony. Rest is all in my hand to be a responsible husband and I have often overheard my wife talking about her happiness with her old friends over the phone. And that makes me a good husband.
I am my step son’s best friend in all aspects; we share common interests and ideology. He appreciates me and I envy him except his carelessness in studies. We are on the same side every time we are into family debate against his mother. My daughter is just too small to comprehend my love now but I am confident that she will be proud to call me father when she grows up. For now I am giving up on all my personal ambitions just to be by her side every night. She already acknowledges my presence and I feel like I am a good father.
Mathematically hubsonther is a tetrahedron, the four triangular faces representing my mother, my wife, my children and I in perfect fit, with every side attached to the other three sides equally. I won’t like myself to be a better son than I am a husband, or better father than I am a son, I wish to be equally good in all three just as the geometric shape illustrates. Tetrahedron is one of the most stable three dimensional shapes just as my family is and that gives me unlimited pride and satisfaction. Thus I declare I am a satisfied hubsonther.