02 January 2021

Revenge on an Anonymous Attacker on Facebook

“Tobgay, did you see what’s written about you on Bhutanese Forum?” Tobgay's phone kept ringing every now and then. He put it off. 

Khandruma, an anonymous Facebook account has posted seven paragraphs long fictitious story about Tobgay out of nowhere. He would have just laughed about it if it hadn't involved his wife and daughter.


Pic Source: Forbes

His sister had driven from Phuntsholing and brother from Paro. His mother-in-law had arrived quickly to check on her daughter who had been shattered. Close relatives were walking in one after another as if someone had died in the house. The energy in the room was intense, heavily loaded with rage. Everyone seemed to want to find out who Khandruma was. They were ready for blood.  


The vicious post that was shared in a group called Bhutanese Forum was being read by thousands and shared by a few hundreds of jobless people who had nothing to do with it. If it was an important message that required to be shared, people won’t be so keen. Did they know they were helping the attacker destroy the family?


Of course, in their minds, Tobgay deserved to be punished and by sharing the post and putting up nasty comments, they were only doing their moral duty of punishing the wrong. One article, not even written well, was enough to let people think ill of him and write awful comments against him and his family. Only a few people have expressed sympathy for him. There was hardly any friend who defended him. 


In the post, Tobgay was accused of misusing his duty car for his family. He was alleged of being promoted unfairly because he was related to the secretary. He was accused of sexually harassing three female colleagues. So far he took it with a smile, but what caused him to lose it all was the attack on his wife and daughter that followed. His wife was accused of sleeping around with her colleagues and ex-boyfriends. "May the little one not turn out to be like her mother." 


He wanted revenge. But whom to take the revenge on? The enemy had no identity, there was no way he could find who wrote it. He could not think of anyone who would do that to him. In fact, at the moment he was angry with everyone; his colleagues, his friends, and even the random people who liked the post or people who have shared it. Everyone seemed guilty in his eyes. His wife made a long list of people who had liked, commented or shared the post. She had made up her mind that should she ever meet them in person she was going to spite on their faces. 


For someone to call her a hoe and accused her of bearing a child from another man, she thought that someone must be the worst enemy anyone could have. She could hardly think of anyone, living or dead, who could hate her so much. With nowhere to outpour her rage, she locked herself in her bathroom and looked for any medication that could put her to sleep and help her forget everything.  


The Police registered the case but there was nothing much they could do. All they could legally do was to create a list of suspects and question them, but Tobgay didn't want to do that. He didn't want innocent people to be questioned by the police. It was frustrating that the police of a country did not have the power to ask Facebook to reveal an anonymous user or remove a post. The group admins were all anonymous people and police have no grip on them as well. Any hope of legal action, justice or revenge was dead when Tobgay realized that Police could only do so much unless he could name the suspect with substantive evidence. 


The officer in charge of the police said in confidence, "Tobgay, we don't have the technical knowhow to find out the suspect but there are companies overseas specialized in this field. I can share one address to help you. They are expensive but they deliver."


"I just want to find the damn person, for that, I will take a loan or leave my job and use up the provident fund and gratuity. I can only sleep peacefully after I hear that person justify his action."


"When you get the name, just call me. So sorry for now." Said the officer, handing him an email address.



In a few days, the company wrote back. They were definite about their ability to trace the person. They have asked for the profile link of the anonymous user and the hate post along with an advance payment to enable them to initiate the process. The agreement had to be signed wherein the client agree to non-disclosure of the company should the matter go to the court. The client had to make the full payment to receive the report within a week with significant evidence of who wrote the post. 


Tobgay didn't think twice before wiring $ 5000 advance payment and anxiously waited for the report. No one in the family objected to his decision. They agreed to chip in to help him pay the company. They wanted revenge as much. They wanted the person to pay for every ounce of pain the family suffered. They wanted the person to swallow every word. They wanted the person to be tied to a pole in public and confess. But why did the person want to harm Tobgay so much? Tobgay couldn't wait to discover the person. 


The couple hadn't gone to office since the day the post surfaced. They didn't want to face people. They could not trust anyone now. They have seen how people they knew were engaging with the post, sharing it as if to rub salt on their injuries. They somehow felt like everyone was gossiping about them. They logged out of their Facebook accounts to find a moment of peace. 


By the third day, the newer controversies had taken over Bhutanese social media scene, and the hate post against Tobgay and family has faded in the background. It was just within two days that the post accumulated over 2200 likes, 340 comments and 210 shares. His wife recorded every bit of these data manually into a notebook. Some of these people who had liked the post and wrote the comments might not have meant it seriously but on this side, the family had taken it badly. Every single thumbs up on the post felt like a jab. 


Tobgay received the much-awaited mail from the overseas company on the sixth day. He was shivering as he opened the mail, unable to control his excitement and rage. He had been waiting to outpour his anger on someone and the name of that someone was about to be revealed. As the mailed opened he saw a 20 MB PDF attachment file. The email read, “Thank you for entrusting us to help you. We are pleased to submit the full report containing 243 pages. Please download the file and keep it safe. This email will be self-destructed within 24 hours from the time you open it. All the best.”


Tobgay had only asked for the name of a person whose face he wanted to smash but he was presented with 243 pages. What could all these pages contain? He opened the attachment and saw that he was given the entire digital biography of the attacker. He sat on the dining table alone and started reading the thrilling report. 

The table of contents was enough to tell him how savage the report was in capturing the entire digital footprint of the attacker. Before he could establish the identity of the attacker who had been hiding behind a pseudonym, Khandruma, he was presented with all the other four fake accounts the attacker has created from his laptop. The dates, times, locations and names, everything was recorded precisely. 


It was a shock for him to discover that the sworn hater was the chief finance officer, Jamtsho, in his own office, with whom Tobgay has no problems at all, not even a little disliking. Could it be a mistake? It seemed unlikely until he saw the few deleted messages he had sent to his friends that established the intention. He had applied for the post of a director, where even Tobgay had applied. In those messages, he has bitterly expressed how Tobgay could easily land the job unless something unfortunate happened to him. 


Tobgay had no idea that his colleague who hardly spoke anything was a candidate for the same job he applied to, and he could hardly establish any reasonable connection between the job and the attack. It took him a while to understand that the intent was to reduce his chances in the interview by establishing him as a dishonest person. Tobgay could hardly imagine how a desperate person could plot to destroy a person's reputation and his family for the sake of a job interview. 


He picked his phone and dialled Jamtsho's number. But he stopped right away. He was on the third page and there was so much to read before he could call. He checked on his wife, who went to bed after taking a highly sedative medication the doctor prescribed for her after she reported to have been sleepless for three-night straight. Now she was sleeping like a baby. Their daughter was fast asleep by her mother.


He spent the next three hours reading the report and making notes from it. By the end of his reading, Tobgay found the amount of stalking Jamtsho has done on him and his family creepy; the search history on Jamtsho's laptop and in his phone revealed a scary state of his mind. He was obsessed with the job. 


Flipping through his notes several times, Tobgay gave up on his idea to confront Jamtsho and do all those things that he and his family had wanted to do if they found the person. Tobgay carefully made a list of people and made a folder each in their names. In each folder, he put the screenshots of the messages and posts he took from the report. There was a total of 8 folders. 

The first one was named as Pelmo, Jamtsho's wife. The folder contains all the messages he had exchanged with at least five women. These private and intimate messages of his affairs were cleverly deleted on Facebook messenger but the report has captured it under the chapter "Important messages Recovered". Tobgay looked at the dozens of pages of really personal and secret stuff in surprise, knowing how they were once deleted. All these messages would be sent to his wife, Pelmo.


The next folder was named 'Secretary' in which screenshots of emails and messages he had exchanged with suppliers are put. The mails and messages gave chilling details of how he was indulged in favouring certain business and what he took from them. He didn't even spare the fuel pump managers with whom he made deals to steal from the fuel books. The folder explained how he had built a three-star hotel in his wife's name in Paro.


The rest of the folders were named after individual persons against whom he had written defaming posts on Facebook from several different accounts. There are many posts that were nasty but these six persons were respected people in the society and he had tried to defame them in the worst possible language using all sort of fake and vulgar details like he did with his wife and daughter. Some of the posts were made several years ago and perhaps the victims may have forgotten the pain, but some are as recent as few months old and Tobgay could imagine the pain inside of those persons and their family members. He was going to write to them anonymously and handover the folders to help them to have their revenge. After reading these posts, Tobgay was convinced that there was something wrong with Jamtsho to have done the same with so many people.


Tobgay is no more interested in confronting Jamtsho. He was going to watch the 8 folders do their job. And if at the end of it, if he still can't forgive enough then he will make the entire 243 pages of Jamtsho's digital biography public on the Bhutanese Forum, the same platform where he has caused pain to so many people. 

The report also contains details on the identity of the forum's admins and the nasty posts they have written. In fact, Tobgay knew that the day he made the report public, so many anonymous heroes on the Bhutanese forum, including some of the admins, would go into hiding.

-This short story is inspired by true events from different times and places. 

31 December 2020

A Long Talk Show with Gup Phub Tshering

I was invited on a Facebook Live show with Gup Phub Tshering to talk about my journey so far; and the significant highlights like the name 'Chablob', PaSsu Diary Blog, then the book, founding of Bhutan Toilet Org, About children and social media- Ninzi Show, Google Maps and Local Guide, about BOOKNESE and many other things. 

It went on for almost three hours. Who does a talk show for that long! Have we just done the longest talk show ever? But our viewers were kind to us, they stayed with us and told us to go on and on. Here is it, for the record. And for those of you who have missed it. 

26 December 2020

Drawing my Family Tree During the Lockdown

 One of the few satisfying things I have done during the last lockdown was working on my family tree. It was one project my cousin and I planned to do a few years ago but we neither had the time nor the expertise to get that done. The very thought of putting together the details of so many people on a sheet of paper overwhelmed me. 

It may sound petty but I was wondering how many A4 papers I would have to stitch together until I could get all the names up. I was even considering a wall to stick all the names. But deep down I had a strong feeling that there should be some software to create a family tree. It seemed like a big task and we pushed it aside. 

The Black and White Picture
Babu Dorji Tshering

One day, my Asha sent me a black and white picture and said the man in the picture was my great-grandfather. He suggested that we traced our bloodline as far back as possible. This was the second time someone in my family proposed to draw our family tree. This time the black and white picture was truly inspiring. I began looking for software and landed an online site called Family Echo, which was free, powerful and easy to use.

A small part of My Family Tree created using Family Echo

I began working on what seemed like a massive project, but within a few days, I had run out of people. Family Echo helped me organize everything in one small window and make all the complex mapping as I move from one generation to another. The exercise gave opportunities to call older member in the family and dig deeper into their memories. Some of them we so touched that we were doing it and that we reached out to them. 

My Angay and Late Jojo whose name was Angay

As the family tree grew bigger I had the option to invite people in the list to contribute to expanding the tree. This has connected and reconnected many of my cousins. It has helped solve a few confusions I had and gave me lots of surprised when it comes to discovering how I was related to a lot of people I grew up with without knowing that we were from the same bloodline. 

My Mother

I have traced 167 people across 8 generations of my family, five backwards and two downward after me. Before this exercise I could not even name my grandmothers, now I at least know the name of my great-great-great-grandfather. His name was Dumcho Tandi. And the man in the black and white picture was Babu Dorji Tshering, my great-grandfather. It's quite an irony that there was a camera in his time, and there is not a picture from my childhood. 

25 December 2020

How Dawa Founded Bhutan Stroke Foundation

Dawa Tshering heard of stroke for the first time when his 32 years young wife Rinchen Pelmo collapsed on the ground and was rushed to the hospital in June 2019. He knew she had issues with her blood pressure but he has never known the fatality of it until it struck. It caught him completely off guard. Rinchen was on life support in the ICU. Doctors didn't give him any false hope. They told him on the face to be prepared for the worst. 

Dawa Tshering and Rinchen Pelmo before their lives changed

His ignorance of stroke helped him shield against the harshness of reality. He didn't give up. His wife was in deep sleep for over a week. He has done rituals of every kind. He went to every influential friend he had around to get a referral to India. But he was told that there was no use taking her out. Gradually he began to realize how bad it was. He was told by everyone who knew the disease that she will not wake up. 

He went to a researcher friend seeking any information he could gather on stroke in Bhutan. He was given a handful, mostly articles and social media post by some Dr Tashi Tenzin. He managed to get connected to the doctor. Over the phone, he asked in desperation, "Doctor, tell me more about stroke."

Dr Tashi invited him over after hearing how earnestly he wanted to know more. He said, "You are the first person to have ever asked. Come over, let's have a chat."

Dr. Tashi Tenzin, the Guide
Photo Courtesy: Friends of Bhutan Association, Austria

By the third week, he managed to get his wife to blink her eyes in response when we ask her questions. On the 23rd day, he surprised everyone when he took her home and began the long ordeal of nursing her. Within the next few months, he left his job with Tarayana Foundation and dedicated fulltime on her. He was given the option to take a long leave if he wished but he opted to resign because he needed his provident fund to treat his wife. 

He regrettably recollects that despite free healthcare in Bhutan, he emptied his pocket on his wife's treatment; not on surgeries or medicines but on rituals. He went to every odd place any fool recommended and conducted every damn rimdro that came out. He shared that he could have treated her faster had he not desperately wasted his time and money on strange rituals. He declared that it was physiotherapy that put her back on her feet, which was absolutely free of cost. 

He would strap her to the car seat and drive her around knowing she would be so sick of staring at the ceiling all day long. He would carry her on his back like a child and go to all the places they would have gone if she were fine. He said going out helped both him and his wife. 

In less than a year, he succeeded in getting his wife, whom doctors feared won't wake up, out of her bed and make her walk on her own. She is still struggling to relearn everything, starting with speaking and eating. Knowing her love for farming, Dawa has helped setup her mushroom farm and vegetable garden. This has helped her wake up every morning with excitement and looking forward to the day.

Rinchen Watering Her Plants

Looking back at the experience he lived since his wife fell ill and watching her relearning how to do things, he felt that if he knew as much about the stroke he could have done anything to prevent that in his wife. His success at getting his wife walk on her feet is another experience, and now dealing with her disability and keeping her meaningfully occupied are things that he wanted to share with others. Having faced with so much at the prime age, Dawa says that the true battle was fought on two fronts; one with the illness and other with depression, and he hopes to be able to create much-needed awareness among the stroke patients and their families. 

Rinchen in her Mushroom Shed

Dr Tashi Tenzin with whom he had kept in constant touch shared with him how important it was for him to create a formal forum to share such stories to create awareness. As a doctor, he had said that he would love to do it but his hands are full within the four walls of the hospital. The doctor wanted Dawa to be the one to go beyond the hospital to reach out to the people. Thus, Bhutan Stroke Foundation was established. 

Personally for myself, having run to Bajo hospital carrying my mother inlaw in my arms and watch her dies a few days later in Thimphu hospital, and having watched the doctors pull the plug on my brother-in-law who was declared braindead, I have always felt the need for a stroke care organization. An organization that will create awareness to prevent stroke (before), help build efforts in timely treatment toward recovery (during) and create means for the patients to cope with life after stroke through meaningful engagements (after). 

Meeting Dawa Tshering in Punakha

When I met Dawa Tshering in Punakha, introducing his Foundation during the CSO retreat I felt like my prayers were being answered. As he spoke about his wife I couldn't see him well through my teary eyes, I knew he was destined to do this. Having hit the hardest, he has the motivation and determination to take this forward like no other. He says he wants to strive for stroke-free Bhutan, where no one has to suffer like his wife, like him and like his two children.

Every day, JDWNR Hospital alone is said to receives 2-3 stroke cases. Globally 17 million cases are reported annually, out of which 6 million dies and 5 million are left with a disability. 

29 November 2020

Toilet Management Training

Since announcing this training a few days ago about 50 people have signed up, out of which some 20 of them are civil servants in officer's position, which means they are not cleaners. While it's encouraging to see non-cleaners showing interest in the training, we would like to focus the training only on the real cleaners who are employed as cleaners. It doesn't matter whether you are in the private or public sector as long as you are a cleaner. 

A little boy manning a public toilet in Jaigoan

The training will cover the following;

1. Building a positive social identity as cleaners and rise above the stigma.

It's a mind game. We want to tell stories to let the cleaners understand the purpose of their work and walk out of our training with pride and self-respect. Of the many stories, we will definitely share about the Janitor who helped Nasa put a Man on the Moon.

In 1962, During a visit to NASA, President John F. Kennedy noticed a janitor carrying a broom down the hallway. He walked over to the man and said, "Hi, I'm Jack Kennedy. What are you doing?"

"Well, Mr President," the janitor responded, "I'm helping put a man on the moon."

2. Understanding a Clean Toilet and knowing what it takes to achieve that.

Cleaners are generally illiterate and come from the poorer section of the society where they make do with basic or no facilities at all. Their idea of a clean toilet may not be clean enough. They need to see their goals with clarity in order to work toward that. 
Giving a short course to Memorial Chorten Toilet Manager 

The venue will be in a good hotel where we could do a practical session in their toilets, and where we could show good examples of toilets to the participants. The two days at the hotel they must see how consistently the toilets are kept well by the hotel staff. 

3. Using the right tools and gears for safety and Dignity 

Using the right tools and gears can not only ensure safety but also make the work really easy and stylish. If we are going to change people's perspectives on cleaning job we must begin with this; a cleaner in a clean uniform with boots and gloves and holding a good mop will give an impression of a passionate worker who knows his job well. It adds dignity to the job. 

4. Basic skilling in plumbing, carpentry, electrical and masonry will be given to skill-up the cleaners to enable them to carry out timely maintenance. If we observe carefully, all big damages start small and gradually. One nail on time can save a toilet from falling apart. But often in the absence of basic skills and accountability, even the most manageable damages are kept aside for the annual maintenance budget. 

5. Use of daily cleaning Checklist to ensure consistency 

By streamlining the job of the cleaners through a daily system of check and balance that will ensure consistency and sustainability. This is effectively used in every organization, including shopping malls in big cities, it's, therefore, high time we introduce it in Bhutan.

Sharing a moment with SJ town toilet manager

If you know someone who needs this training please let them know, and if the person is unable to fill out the form kindly help them. But note that it's only for the cleaners. 

Talking about the overwhelming response we got from general civil servants, some of my friends said it could for the want of a certificate that may be useful while seeking similar jobs in counties like Australia. With no affiliation with any institute in Australia, our certificate, even if we issued one, may not carry any weight at the moment. But, it has opened our eyes to the possibility of a similar arrangement that could help earn revenue for Bhutan Toilet Org from the training course and guarantee employment in the cleaning sector down under. It's a good dream, isn't it?

26 November 2020

May We Check Your Toilet?

There has to be a strong correlation between the people in the management and the condition of the toilet in their offices. It sounds strange but the toilets do reflect the values and attitude of the people who are using it. There may be several other factors but good management will never allow its office toilets to stink, will they? 

During the Ambassador Conference, Dr Lam Dorji facilitated a session with the toilet ambassadors and they agreed to carry out a survey to quietly assess the office toilets and find out which type of management or leadership pay serious attention to the condition of the toilets. The results will be shared with the public through all media platforms.         

To get honest data from the assessment, we must not announce the dates. We should tiptoe into the survey without alerting anyone. But in case if some offices need us to seek approvals and permissions to carry out our survey, then I must do it right here with this post:

 "May we check your toilet?" I hope you won't say no.

Just to give you a heads up, the following questions will be included (but not limited to) in the survey;
  1. Are there separate toilets for women?
  2. Are the toilet walls and floor free of dirt, stains, cobwebs?
  3. Are the toilet pans, urinals and washbasins stainless? 
  4. Is there running water in the toilet?
  5. Is the toilet floor kept clean and dry? 
  6. Does the toile have good lighting?
  7. Is the toilet well ventinlated?
  8. Are the proper doors with latches? 
  9. Are there adequate cleaning tools?
  10. Is there a trained cleaner? 

25 November 2020

The Toilet Ambassadors of Bhutan

Who are these toilet ambassadors?

They are regular civil servants from each Dzongkhag and students from Royal University colleges who came forward to support Bhutan Toilet Org in taking our mission to the ground in their communities. They are volunteers. They are natural leaders who create a network of volunteers around them. They are the bridge between us and their Dzongkhag or College.

How are they chosen?

They came forward voluntarily. We didn't choose them. They chose us. We found most of them by chance. Only in some rare cases I personally asked my friends to help. The position of BTO ambassador is so undefined that it takes a huge supply of goodwill and trust to find or become one. 

However, when an ambassador goes on transfer or leaves for studies, we seek his/her recommendation to find a replacement.

How important are they?

We are a relatively new CSO but within a short span of time, we managed to overcome a lot and made a huge impact. The secret to our success is our ambassadors. They are on the ground. They multiply our efforts and reach. 

How much are they paid?

They are paid in millions worth of smiles and gratitude from people whose lives they touch. It would be an insult to put a price tag on their profound efforts. It's the purest form of volunteerism, one in which, the dirtiest work is done with the cleanest heart. 

What's Ambassador Conference? 

We have never met our ambassadors formally before. We coordinated on Facebook messenger and depended on various mode of communication to keep in touch. For the first time, we organised an Ambassador Conference to bring us all together, face to face and streamline our efforts. It may become an annual event considering the importance of such a platform.

Earlier, in the absence of any written guidelines, some ambassadors have done dozens of activities while others couldn't even define their role. This conference helped us share experiences and draw common grounds. We now have simple and clear terms of reference, action plan and communication strategy. We hope to make it better over the years.