Being the Change, Beyond Complaining

I spent my summer vacation well. I attending workshop by the day and met friends in the evenings. I made some new friends and caught up with old friends. I interviewed a several people and several people interviewed me. I met with some people with whom I have always wanted to meet. I am soon blogging about them.

Animated Introduction. Picture: BCMD

I know you don't like reading about workshops, neither do I but this workshop was different. This workshop was not about some far-fetched theories and endless handout that would go to dustbin on the way back home. It was neither one of those namesake workshops to finish certain budget. It was about awakening, about realizing our power to change things, small things around us. We spent five days inspiring ourselves and the next five days going out into the real world to make real changes.

The workshop was called Community Mapping, technically it was about locating issues and asserts in the community and getting it literally on the map. We were carrying Android phones loaded with unicef GIS mapping app. The app helps in pinning the pictures we take onto the map using Global Positioning System. But that's just the tool, the soul was how we go beyond clicking pictures and identifying problems, yes it was how we device solutions to the problems.

The unicef Map. Click on the picture to view the real map.

Problem in our country is that most of us don't know a problem is a problem, and the few who could see the problem think it's not their problem. During the workshop we were shown inspiring documentaries from around the world about problems and people- about individuals and community who led changes, who became part of solution, who went beyond just complaining about the problems.

The participants were students from high schools and colleges and I was among the few teachers. The best part of working with young people is that they don't have preconceived doubts and therefore they aren't shy about trying. Soon they make us believe that it's all so possible, and believing is success half achieved.

After five days of inspiration in the BCMD Media Lab we identified issues in Thimphu community to address as our real project. The problems we shortlisted were;

1. Management of waste party goers leave behind at Buddha Point
2. Getting City Bus to Changedaphug (Kala Bazar)
3. Campaigning against taking packaged food as Tshog (Offering) to Lhakhangs
4. Appointing a community caretaker at a labour camp 
5. City Bus vegetable vendors on stalls.

(Read about the projects in detail by clicking on the picture of the Map)

Any average citizen would say these are none of our business, but the workshop taught us to more than that, we started believing that every little issues within our community, within our country or the  world is our business. If we can bring a positive change we must do it. So for the next five days we were on the field researching, interviewing, seeking support, connecting people...

My Team with Thimphu Thrompon

On the last day we presented our project outcomes at the Tarayana hall filled with distinguished people who were themselves change makers, policy makers or people who had stake in the development of the city and its community. They all seemed very impressed and the stakeholder promised to render their support.

One striking quote from the presentations, a students said, " We came all the way from the east to put dustbins at Buddha Point". 

Bottom line is, if a streetlight is kept on during the day, some people will not notice at all, some will see and feel nothing, some will know it's waste of energy, some will click a picture and post it on Facebook or Twitter, in this workshop we were inspired to take the next step- to call the authority and inform them directly about it. This is one small change anyone can bring in a community.

During our field trip we saw a big log blocking the drain along the City Bus Parking. The log could clog the drain and during the monsoon it could flood the whole parking. Normally I would have just taken a picture of that log and posted on the Facebook, but this time I gathered my team and tried to take the log out. But it was too big for team of three men. Hundreds of people around the parking area just watched us with that's-not-our-business look. An Indian guy came by and told us that he will call his friends and do it. I was so touched until he asked 'How much is the budget?' So we went to the city office and asked for some labour to help us. There was no labour that day but they asked the location. Next day we went there to find the log was removed. 

Before

After

The workshop was conducted by Bhutan Center for Media and Democracy. I encourage Media Clubs in schools to get in touch with them and book your place for next segment of Community Mapping workshop. It can surely change you into change maker. Special Thanks to Tshering Eudon and Tsho Tsho for being such a great facilitator. 

Say No to Sex on Camera

Love making is one of the most intimate expressions of love. There is nothing shameful and bad about having sex but unlike in the rest of the animal kingdom sex is a very private affair in human world. When this very romantic ritual becomes public then it turns vulgar and therefore subjected to humiliation.
Bhutanese society is so small that just one leaked private video is enough to disturb half the population while the unaffected half share and gossip over it. Shocking number of homemade leaked videos have silently gone viral in our country and no one is giving a second thought before forwarding them to their friends. What more is a sadist?
Sadist is the man who made love on camera. Sadist is the man who leaked the private video. Sadist is the man who distributed the video. And sadist we all are in receiving those videos and watching them, trying to see if we could identify the people in the clips. How exciting it is when she is not our sister, how naughtily we talk about it when it's not our daughter, how casual we are because she is nothing to us. Will you do the same if she was a family? Can you imagine the humiliating pain she and her loved ones are going through?
Today the world is with you in having fun at their expense, tomorrow the same world will switch side and enjoy at your expense should you be the victim.
I see no difference between the women in videos and any other women when it comes to what they will do in bedroom, it's just the matter of having caught up with a wrong guy who took advantage of their trust. Whatever the intentions were, the act of recording the private business in itself was wrong. There can't be a justification, it was just ruthless abuse of blind trust. How could it leak out if it was never recorded?

I am a guilty sadist by circumstance; because I use a smart phone and I have huge contacts I have received every leaked videos in the town but on my part I have tried to stop right there by not forwarding them. I know I couldn't make any difference but as brother, as son and as father I have done my share of right so that I could face the women in my family without much guilt.

One woman I know has received all of the clips and surprisingly she has forwarded to all her women friends. Quite shocked, I asked why would she, as woman, do this instead of helping in containing it. She told me that her not-forwarding them can hardly make any difference, she rather chose to send them to her lady friends to warn them and to let them learn lesson. She is right, sometimes we can learn from mistaken we haven't done ourselves.

Remember:

1. When you are sending your phone or computer for repair, make sure you don't have secrets saved in them. It's alleged that some videos were leaked that way.
2. The files you have deleted from your memory devices can be retrieved using retrieval software, so don't think your secrets are gone when you have clicked on Delete button. 
3. If you are staying in cheap local hotels make sure there aren't any peepholes as was in one case. 
4. Last and the best, don't trust your partner if he takes out his camera in the bedroom. Say no to Sex on Camera and there is nothing to worry about. Sometimes it's not about trusting your partner but it's about how well we understand the technology. 

What keeps us going as Bhutanese is not our military might, it cannot be technology advancement and never was industrial estate, we are beautifully Bhutanese because of our social values that binds us as family but these videos we are sharing are degrading our Bhutaneseness...

How to Recover What is Lost in Gambling

Gambling is very addictive; it's easier to counsel a young drug addict out of his habit than to keep an adult gambler out of the game. Even bankruptcy can't stop a gambler. The winner wants to win more while the loser wants to recover his loss and there is no end to the race. I heard this before as a story, now I know a man close to me who is living this story I once heard.

When he came to Wangdue to join his new job he was carrying a load of money, gratuity from his earlier job and other benefits. Like a smoker finds a smoking friend even in the strangest of place, he found gambling partners even before he could locate toilet in his new home. He wanted to buy a taxi to make his after-office hours useful but by the time I knew him closely his dream has gone into someone's pocket.

It was an expensive lesson he was supposed to learn but he was a bad student, he didn't learn. He has taken several loans from friends and bank only to see another taxi dream fading on the gambling table. Now he has enough loan to pay for next few years yet hope of recovering his loss drags him back to the people who peeled him off. Every month-end he reaches home late at night with long face and empty purse, and his wife has to go into hiding to escape from house owner when he comes around collecting house rent.

He grew desperate, he was going to either learn how to cheat like many others do, or he was going to seek support from astrologer but there is no sign of him giving up. That same day, by coincidence, an elderly friend of mine came by when he was discussing his desperate measures.

My elderly friend join the conversation with excitement, because he happened to be a survivor and his saviour was an astrologer too. He is now one of the richest man in Wangdue with property even in Thimphu. My desperate company grew interested in the story of gambler, astrologer and riches. Thus the rich elderly friend shared:

"I was finished, everything that was legally mine was gone and one day my wife left too, not because I was a poor man but because I wasn't ready to leave gambling even when I had nothing left to gamble with. That was when I went to an indian astrologer and show my empty palm. The sadhu at once told me that I had a leak in my hand, and that I had finished everything. I told him, I know this part of the story and that I wish to know if I will ever recover my fortune. He studied my palm carefully and eventually told me that I will be rich again. That was the sweetest word I heard in many day.
"I at once wanted to know how and when, I wanted him to tell me what kind of pujas I have to perform and what are my lucky days. The sadhu read my palm again for the longest time and said, 'Son, there are no pujas to perform, you are destined to be a prosperous man. All you have to do is, Just leave gambling and start working'.
"That was the turning point in my life. Now I have not only recovered everything but also built so much on it. And if you truly want to recover whatever you lost gambling is not the right choice. If you go to the best astrologer, he will tell you exactly this."

Twitter

Today Twitter made a big announcement, they are planning for Stock Market Listing. Who would have imagined that a website which only allows a miser 140 characters would be a big business someday. It's an inspiration for people who are chasing crazy ideas. If you want to hit big, go crazy.

Follow me @PaSsu_Diary

Who would have imagined Twitter would play an important role in a Bhutanese's life? I grew particularly interested in the success of Twitter because apart from all the learning experiences and fun I had, Twitter helped me solve a big problem yesterday. I don't want to present the case here because it won't be appropriate. But trust me without Twitter I won't have known where to begin and how to go about.

I sat on my computer the moment the problem was discovered and after over 20 Direct Messages to a tweeple I never met the problem was resolved in the most appropriate way, of course Facebook helped a bit too in providing photographs. It saved me from rushing to Thimphu and from lot of emotional drainage. Thank you so much @drukpafool for help.

Gawa- The Story of the Fatherless

Bhutanese movies are usually lavish in length and miser in depth with occasional bollywood cliché. One prominent movie director once told me that anything other than that would not sale in Bhutanese cinema. Perhaps he is right because despite the odds he survived as the most successful director in Bhutan.

"Gawa- The Other Side of the Moon" chose to be different because it has a serious story to tell beyond commercial milage. It was inspired by a true story and it has a mission to inspire true stories.

I won't share the whole story here because I expect you to watch it for yourself because it has a story to tell to each one of us. It throws light on the dark side of the nightly rural courtship culture that men engage in for pleasure. And often it's the urban visitors who destroy the lives of innocent women in villages with their empty promises.

The movie portrays a girl, born out of gang rape and abandoned by her broken mother, in search of her identity and hers is the story lived by many children in our country. These children not only grow without their 'father' but also have to face the humiliation of being born that way. The most heartbreaking point in these children's lives is when they are denied civil registration just because they don't have fathers.

The movies has the potential to change the new generation of men, educate the young women, give hope and dignity to the victims and scorn the men who were responsible. At best it should remove the social stigma against victims and bring about the realization that if there is anybody who should be blamed and who should be scorned it's the men and not the betrayed women or the faultless children born out of it.

I wish this movie goes to my village Yangthang in Haa because there we have many fatherless children who need support to live with dignity, women who must understand their legal rights and know that it wasn't their fault, young women who must be educated, young men who must be changed and some disgraceful men who must be scorned and brought to justices because so far they are proud like a mating bull.

My father passed away when I was a baby and I used to think the same happened with my best friend's father. I used to ask about his father and he would ignore my question and turn away. One day he disclosed his father to me and perhaps he must have regretted later because I laughed so hard. I laughed because I couldn't believe someone else's father could be his father. The man he called his father was the richest man in my village but he was in rag just like me. Much later I learned that he was registered as his brother in-law's son in the census. My friend died three years ago from excessive drinking and in his short lifetime his father refused to accept him, though he looked like a photocopy of the man. I heard the rich man paid the cremation expenses of his denounced son, as if he waited for this very day to extend a helping hand.

The fate of my dead friend is shared by over 25 other children from 15 mothers in my village as far as I can remember and everybody in the village knows who their fathers are including the children themselves. People are open about this and women aren't scorned like in other societies but there is no culture of these fathers helping in raising the children. Some father wouldn't even spare a photocopy of their ID card for the registration of their children yet women take it silently.
In a small village of 50 households we are all somehow related to each other, and by disclosing this story I may become enemy of many but I am ready to face it for the sake of justice for the victims

'Gawa-The Other Side of the Moon' ends in poetic justice where the three men are brought to justice in the most satisfying way and much like the movie does its executive producer RENEW shares about having identified 770 children who received help in registration and in going to school. I hope children in my village are among the 770 who found the means to live better by the grace of Ashi Sangay Choden Wangchuk, the president of RENEW.

Movie Poster

The movie is certified to be screened in all schools across the country for educational purpose and viewers can make voluntary contribution. The proceeds from the screening will go into educating these children.

Mob in Bajothang- iWitness

I heard of mob attack in Jaigoan, and saw in Indian movies but this afternoon it happened in my school. The school was over and I was with my colleagues shaking hands with movie director Tshering Wangyel who has come to screen his production "Sorry Wai" here. Suddenly we heard our noisy neighbours shouting louder than they usually did. We have over 20 Bengali  labourers working for a construction site in our school. They were chasing something with various weapons in their hand.
We said "Sorry Wai" to Tshering Wangyel and ran to the site to find that they were after the Bhutanese site supervisor who is responsible for looking after the work on behalf of the funder. Stones were flying in his direction, narrowly missing him. We stopped the mob, who were carrying bamboo, iron rod, stone, spade and going 'maro maro' after him. While I appreciate their unity I hated their action and intention.
Instinctively I picked up a bamboo too and pointed at those who were trying to cross beyond where we were standing, I only realized there was bamboo in my hand when my principal called on me to throw it.
"He hit our friend, we have to 'maro' him" They shouted.
"Are you police? Who are you to render justice this way? This cannot be done here. Call you proprietor and solve it with police." My principal sent them back.

Then their theakhadar said something to them which instigated the mob again. They wanted to drag him back and do justice. They began "maro maro' again and came running. We intercepted them and suggested, "How would you like to have it the other way, where we call 50 Bhutanese and thrash your heads with your weapons." By then there were people watching from all directions. The mob retreated silently.
Our principal called the theakhadar and warned him to total silence.

After a while the escapee returned with chief security officer of his company and police. The labours were called and the case was dug. From their conversation I could see that the supervisor had tried to stop a work which was not approved by the company, while the head labourer shouted at his workers to continue. The s supervisor became furious and dug out their finished work when a labourer punched him. He picked up a bamboo and knocked that man down and ran away.

Police after hearing stories from both sides said both of them must go to the office, and even asked the theakhadar to go. That's when I said "what about the mob that came with all sort of weapon?" and my colleagues supported me. Then the whole 'maro maro' gang was loaded behind police pickup and taken to police station. I hope their are not kept in the cell overnight though they deserved it.

Loop Hole in Bajothang Infrastructures Kills a Man

I am writing about every corner of Bajothang because I love this place and I am living the best part of my life here. The loop hole I am going to write about is not that of 3G network which is not working yet- I know it just a rough sail in new place.
It's with heavy heart I am breaking the news that was not covered in any news media yet: Yesterday morning a man fell from the third floor of the building he was living in in Bajothang town, and was declared dead upon reaching hospital.
Let me present to you a brief background of how buildings are in Bajothang: All structures have attic on the third floor, which has a controversial background of its own. Attics are restricted to certain height and are not allowed to have verandas. Now, you may wonder how the man fell at all. The restriction on veranda was well imposed but the house owners have created a platform across the third floor which can be accessed through either a door or a big window. All commercial apartments have similar features and I am sure authorities have seen it but since it didn't look like veranda no action was taken against it. Therefore you could see people drying clothes outside the windows of third floor without any safety railings.

look at the attic!

The accidents such as this were easily predictable, it was only by the grace of god that we saw only one so far. He was drying clothes when he stumbled and without anything to hold on he landed up losing his life. Unlike in the rest of the world here we blame on our fate and luck instead of blaming on the structural safety and holding people responsible. It doesn't take too much brain to analyze that if there was railing the man wouldn't have died by falling off the building, and if at all verandas are not allowed then access to outside of the third floor should be made illegal.
I wish to see some news media come and not just report the news but also make people answer a few questions on the safety of the attic dwellers.

Two Big Surprises in Bajothang

Bajothang town is a beautiful dream gone wrong for a long time and I have seen the town on the headlines of many news medias on various unpleasant issues. It is plagued with every mismanaged urban problems and only strong fingers are pointed from different direction rather than strong hands of action.
But yesterday morning we woke up to two big and unexpected surprises: There was 3G network on my cell phone and later I was overwhelmed by the news of hi-tech water purification and pumping technology installed at our water source. It was complete surprise because we never had any clue about the planning and progress of the two great developmental works.

3G reaches Bajothang

And it was unexpected because so far nothing seemed to be moving forward in Bajothang. But this seems like a great beginning to a new year of prosperity. We already had the nation's first tunnel highway opened and now we have the nation's first hi-tech water source, which will end the perennial water shortage in Bhutanese towns across the country. So far Bhutan remained the only country with lots of fresh water rivers that suffered water shortage. And now Bajothang becomes the 4th town in Bhutan to be connected with 3G internet after Thimphu, Phuntsholing and Paro.
If Thimphu is the brain of the country, Wangdue now is becoming the heart! Thank you for the wonderful surprises!

The Inner Search in Schools

When Meditation was first introduced in schools a few years ago, it was received with good humor. Students found it funny in the beginning and boring gradually. Most teachers never believed in it and some believers soon forgot it. I never really understood why this was happening. But I tried hard to advocate that it was to do with calming our mind and sharpening our focus on studies-which was how I vaguely understood and I discovered I wasn't fully wrong.

Meditation before the Evening Prayer in Bajothang

Now that I have the complete understanding of the intention behind introducing this in schools I would like to share it with my readers. It's a very simple ritual a school should follow whenever possible to give students a quite moment of calmness, in which they get time to be mindful. Mindfulness is the key in this practice. It's a known fact that nobody wants be bad, nobody wants be in trouble, but they land up being without their intention. And one bad thing leads to another. That's the result of not being mindful. We are always in rush.
Everybody has a choice at all times, we make many decisions every moment of our lives and our decisions shape us. While making those many decisions we have two voices talking to us from within our head, one is the good one and other is bad, but how many of us know which one to listen to?
That's what's happening to our students everyday, they don't want to land up in problem but they got into trouble by the wrong decisions they made. They didn't know they have picked on the wrong choice. Not many of us make right decisions at all times either. They need help. But no external help can solve your internal problem, how long can anyone rely on help considering the hundreds of decisions we have to make everyday. The help is right there within ourselves. We only have to focus and that focus comes from training our mind. That's why Meditation is brought to school, and I believe in it, because a mindful child will live a meaningful life.

There are different types and levels of meditation, please Google it. I picked on the simplest one and I am trying with my students every day and I have asked them to spare one minute every morning and evening for it. They know why they are doing this, and with them I am also in search the good voice myself. This could solve many of life's problems, this could be the answer to all the disciplinary problems in the school, and this could be the revolution against social problems, if at all we take it with genuine seriousness.

Note: Meditation in school has no connection with any religion, the only connection it has is with ones mind and therefore with ones life. 

The Gap Between the School and Home

No child is so bad in school. There is hardly any record of gang fights on campus, one among hundreds would dare be bold enough to smoke behind the toilet, and same bold ones would come to school on drugs and at times on alcohol. But they pay the price of daring. Rest are in their best form when they are within the school fence.
No child is so bad at home. Some might not listen to every thing their parents' demand but they won't find trouble in the bedroom. They may not study hours on stretch but nothing can go so wrong at home, even if they are watching movies or sleeping.

In the Gap. Photo Source: Flickr

It's between the school and home that every wrong thing happens. The gap that has no time limit and no supervision. From 8 AM to 3:30 PM schools will responsible. If a child is absent we call their parents. If a child wants to visit hospital we give them time frame and ask for prescriptions. But at what time do parents expect their children to reach home? Where do they go after changing? Were they really involved in school games, when they come late? Are they really going for discussing home work? Is there any birthday party at all? Which Lhakhang are they going to and with whom?
But sadly not many homes have anybody who would play that important part. Father is in archery ground and mother with her friends, father is playing cards late into night and mother's gone looking for him,... Worse, many children live with their young siblings who themselves are yet to grow up. Home like this are deeper gaps.
No child wants to go wrong, it just happens. They need help before everything goes wrong. They need help in getting them out of the gap. They have dreams, and dreams can't be achieved in those gaps. Schools are doing their role. What are homes doing?

Note: It's just a quick thought. Detailed piece will be written soon.

A Movie for Teachers- From Monu Tamang

I love movies but I really don't believe in investing hours on just any movie. There are perhaps a million movies and half of them can be disappointing, that's why recommendations are very helpful. Thank you Monu GhishYing Tamang for recommending a movie that touched my soul. The last time I felt the same about a movie was in my college days and the movie was Finding Forrester (This is for writers). That was also watched upon recommendation by a good friend.

The Ron Clark Story is based on the true story of a teacher. The movie shows us how far we can go with our passion. Ron Clark takes up the worst class in New York City and walks them to the top. I laughed and cried, and I want every teacher to watch it. I have shared the movie with many of my friends in Bajothang and I will make sure it reaches far and wide. 

Still from the Movie

How did I get the movie is another interesting story. When I read Monu's recommendation on his blog I was dying to watch it and I left a comment in which I also wrote "...If I can't find it you will have to bring your copy along when you come home and pass it to me." In his next blog post, he wrote he was coming home. In the footnote, he has left a message for me,

"PS: I will start my journey on 14 October, if I get the train ticket. PaSsu sir, wait for me at Wangdue Zampa, I will drop my pen-drive (The Ron Clark Story) there from the bus while travelling to Tsirang (my Home) lol."

 

Last week my office assistant hand me a registered letter with something inside. On the back of the envelope, it was written 'From Monu Tamang'. He had reached Thimphu and perhaps thought waiting on Wangude Zampa may not be a good idea. I opened the packet to find a pen drive with the movie inside it. 

Dear Monu, the movie has become double special for me just because you sent it with high regards. I will watch it time to time and every time I do, I will remember you. I will share the movie with as many teachers as possible and all the good changes will be credited to you. Thank you so much.

A Night to Remember

The Legend has it and movies show it that werewolves transform into wolves on full moon nights and turn bloody wild, but they are thought to be mythical species. But practically we have some men who turn into animals every weekend, if not wolves, and go hunting for trouble. Weekends are for people to rest and relax but many drink and go wild and fight and tire themselves so much.

On weekends (from forbiddenplanet.co.uk)

My family usually hangout late at a cafe run by my colleague, but last weekend I was occupied and couldn't make to her place. Strangely that night most of our regular friends were absent as well, and her husband was ill and left for home early. She and her niece were closing the cafe after 10 when a car pulled over and a guy started teasing her. She is not somebody who would make a fuss out of silly things. She ignored several times but he wouldn't stop. She reached at her door, which is just across the street, when the man started badmouthing her. She is good at debating, she fought back equally well.
Such men expect women to either shy away giggling or give positives signs when they eve tease them but when a woman fires back they have very think membrane around they drunken ego. The man came out of his car and ran for her. His friend was waiting in the car behind the wheel. A group of Indian laborers had gathered, along with some neighbors. The guy grabbed her by her neck and dragged her a few steps when she twisted around and gave a slap across his face. The man fell in the drain and got himself soaked in mud. She send another shot on his face with her handbag when the muddy man came for her again. He fell the second time and she jumped on him throwing punches all over his head until the man ran away like a beaten dog. The car that was waiting for him sped away after him.
Her husband knew only after the show was over, when their niece was crying aloud outside witnessing the fight but the woman has fought for herself. She called the police and started hunting for the man and his friend. Next evening when we went to her cafe she wasn't there, she was gone to police. She has taken leave from office and went looking for the man. She got him and has handed him over to the police. Her niece told us the story.
When she returned she scolded us for not being there the other night. I told her that she has fought well and done what we couldn't have. But I was curious as to why she had to go to police if she had done so much to justify the matter, to which she said, "I have fought for my defense, but not many women can do it. That contractor (O the man was a contractor) seems to think that he can abuse any woman. I took him to police to let him know that he can't..."
I jokingly remarked, "with multiple knockouts in one night the man will never again dare look at another woman." But the truth is every weekend so many men turn into animals. But that was a night to remember.

Dear Students, The World of Your Own

The world will not end this year I will take the risk if it does, but I can't take the risk if you choose to end your world. You own a world of your own and you are the center of that world. You can destroy that world as easily as you could make it a wonderful place to live in. There are always choices ahead of you, distinctly black and distinctly white, easily separable. There are people like you and me who go strong and make white choices, and there are people like you and me whom the black choices choose because they are not strong enough to love themselves.
Every time you go on vacation I get a bad feeling that you might land up on the dark side of life, from where you might drown further away from life everytime you want to return, therefore I write this to you to tell you three simple things as you leave for summer vacation of 2012.

1. Bad opportunities, like weeds in our garden, are generously available in the human garden. But don't be generous with them, be kind enough to spare yourself a few moment to think of all the people that mean to you so much, and think about what would happen to them if you go those wrong ways.

2. You will be caught. Bad things never go unpunished. Every time you are tempted to do something wrong just know that you can't run from it. If love can't stop let fear hold you back.

3. Take care of your own little world, the big world will take care of itself.
Have a happy summer vacation. Make people around you happy. And when we reunite let's share our happy stories.


- Posted using BlogPress

 

Tear Drops on my Chair

I have known this high school principal for sometime and have gathered a lot of regards for the man he is, the Education officers he was, and the principal he has been so far. He is known for reforming and reconstructing system into very friendly environment that every time he leaves a place people feel the emptiness he has left behind.
This time I came into close contact with him, over and over, and he spared me enough of his time to talk about his school and listen about my school, yes we were talking about students' problems and relative solutions, without ignoring the origin of the problems. It's interesting but disheartening to know that we actually have ideas about where the problems come from and how we could prevent them but there are major stakeholders who wouldn't do enough.
His few sentences touched me so much and made me think over it for days; he said, "I think I should quit this job before I make myself a merciless devil, who sits on this chair and watch parents cry for the mistakes their children committed. How many parents cried here in front of me! Those parents leave behind all the self respect for their children and beg of me to give them another chance.
"Our intention of helping the child together fails to convince the parents, they don't want to take their children home for some days and talk things out- they are backing off from the little help we are asking in helping their children. And finally when we leave them with no option they leave with bitter hearts.
"In a small society like ours I am already hurting too many people, who wouldn't understand, there are too many tear drops on my chair..."

Though enclosed within quotation marks, the words are not exact to the scale but I made sure the meaning and the intention is preserved.


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Telling Girls the Truth- Our Principal Speaks

Bajothang finally received a man who could nurse its injuries and help her not only walk but run marathon race. Mr. Shangkar Lal joined us as our new principal last February from Gyalposhing and he has already shown us how he could lead us to a great change. For the first time I going to work under a man who would allow me to be creative, who himself is an artist hungry for creativity.
There are already so many reforms this man has brought to talk about in just three months but for now I would like to pick on the speech he gave to our girls some mornings ago.
He is a powerful speaker and uses his own choice of words, and here I will use my own words to express the same thing he conveyed that morning:

"I come from Gyalposhing, a small town that grew because of the Kurichhu Project and I have seen firsthand the impact of huge population fed by project on to our young school girls. And here am I again, in a place where two big projects are exploding the local population, where you all could fall victims of change. You could be sweettalked by any man with hundred promises but you must remember that you are the greater promise. You should know that you are capable of being more than just a mere woman dependent a man. Look at your vice principal here, tomorrow if madam Deki's husband treats her bad, tortures her and kicks her, she could kick him back and choose her on road in life. Because she has created her own life where she has hundred choices. You have the same right to create your life where you have hundred choices, you must resist any influence from men at this age. I am not saying relationship with men is bad, I am saying the time is bad. There is charm in doing right thing in the right time. If you fail yourself today, you are failing yourself for the life time: the when your husbands kick you, you may have to hold their feet and beg for mercy because you have nowhere to go. Don't let that happen. Give yourselves time to grow, give yourselves time to make good judgement, remain a student when you are one."

 This speech was well timed and well framed to protect our young girls from thousands of men pouring in because of the Puntatshangchu Project. We keep hearing rumors of our girls getting influenced into relationships and I hope this goes on to help them know that they themselves are the greater promises of their lives, the happiness that no man can give them.

 

Demolishing the Palace of the Tshomem

Tshomem (mermaid) is believed to be the keeper of water bodies. My school is on the bank of the Punatshangchhu, the river that has the legend of having a tshomem. Astrologers have repeatedly mentioned that the construction of the school has displeased the keeper of the river, but for the last fifteen years of existence school has done nothing to come into harmony with the spiritual power. The consistence disaster these few years forced the school to take the threat seriously.
We lost a boy to the river in 2009, the spot where astrologers said the mermaid lived. The same place was flooded the same year, washing away our fishery tank. An old woman committed suicide near the fishery tank. Over four cars accidents occurred on the adjoining road, of which one fell right into the river killing a young man. School faced fire disasters, theft cases, and even bomb pranks.  All this has reminded us to listen to the silence for once.
School, with the help from Dzongkhag Dratshang, picked the spot to construct a Tshomem Phodrang (palace of the mermaid), it's the traditional and spiritual negotiation of peace with the unseen owner of the place. Only the name is 'Palace', otherwise it's just a stone and mud structure, where no metal,cement and chalk can be used.

Site Map of School

However, in the twist of the story- in our quest to please the mermaid we have displeased a rich businessman in Bajothang. We have reached halfway through the construction of the palace, when the man came and claimed the stones we used. The well shaped stones were lying in the extended school campus for years and we knew the owner. But after we finished fencing the whole campus we had wrongly assumed our ownership over the stones. The construction committee had the intention of asking him, knowing that the old man would agree if we told him our story. But the angry rich man came twice and asked, "Do you think these shaped-stones emerged naturally? I have invested Nu.25 in shaping each stone. Nu.25 those days was powerful. I myself stole the stone from Nobding in the darkness of the night and you think you can use it at your will?"
School apologized, begged and asked him to be our patron for the construction of the palace but he remained angry. Then we asked him to put his price on the stone. We are already halfway and if he would give us at a reasonable price we thought we would buy. Teachers could contribute about Nu.10,000 to pay him up. But his price shocked us to demolish the palace right away. He wanted Nu.50 per stone, which means we should be paying him Nu.50,000 for half structure alone.
This school educated four of his children and his grandchildren will come here soon but he didn't want to spare some stones. This is the sort of public help our school is getting. If we had a legal support I have a feeling that the stone might belong to us after all these years, or may be he might have to pay us for keeping the stone in our area for so long.

Disclaimer: The views reflected in here are NOT School's, it's just my personal observation and interpretation of what is happening.

Update 7th April 2012

School helplessly demolished the structure built with those stones and rebuilt it with mud bricks. The construction committee engaged senior students and any helping hand they could get to erect the phodrang within three days, so we could consecrate it today during the school annual rimdro. Now the palace of the tshomem is built and consecrated as if nothing has happened. And we hope this brings peace to the invisible power and to the entire community of Bajothang.

The Palace of the Tshomem- built in three days

Refereeing A Social Fight

Courtesy: oahuleague.com

Last Saturday I was rushing for my evening class when I was stopped by a fight in a rustic local bar. A man held a woman by her hair and pushed her to the ground. He was calling her a 'shameless thief'. She didn't quite look fit for his description but I was yet to understand the story.
I witness the fight from the first minute but I couldn't interfere because I had my adult students waiting for their after-office class.
He went on dragging her around, demanding answers.
Then the woman said, "That's my house too and I have the right over things in there."
The story soon unfolded before me. They were divorced recently after 8 months of marriage. The fight started when the woman, who had moved out, went and took two blankets, which he claimed was his.
I was still weighing weather to run for my class or to be a referee. There were over ten people watching the fight and except for pushing the man out of the bar, nobody said anything. The man went on, "When did we ever get married? Who says you are my wife? I already told you that I don't want you, why are you following me like a dog?" That's when I jumped in.
"Sir, you can't humiliate the lady in public." He was silent. Everybody went silent. "I think your marriage is not working and you have chosen to go separate ways. But there are procedures to settle it peacefully. Have you followed any course of action to settle the matter locally?"
The lady was quick to answer, "No sir, he ran away locking his room when I went to talk with my jabmi."
"In that case sir, you can't claim those blankets or any other things in your house as your until the case is solved because those things belong to both of you. And most importantly you have no right to assault her. There are these many witness to what you have done to her and therefore you could face charges."
By then I was joined by several other elders and the man eventually calmed.
I turned to the woman and suggested her not to do anything that to lead to such fight until the case is settled. And I advised her to seek help from police or RENEW if he assaults her again.
I was 30 minutes late to my class and took another 5 minutes explaining why I was late. Later I wondered if I was even allowed to do that, because I often heard people denouncing the interference in marital affairs. What would have happened if the man turned violent against me? These were some things I didn't bother at that moment but I am happy that I did something wise people won't do. And that makes me a fool!

Under 16 Nuisance in Wangdue

There were two explosions in my school earlier this month and you must be wondering if I didn't hear them. Of course I heard them and I even gave my statement to police. But I didn't want to make it public so that police could do their job at peace. But now that the news has already been reported in two papers I see no harm in writing about it.
I have nothing different to tell from the story The Bhutanese and Kuensel covered but let me run the narrative as unfolded before me. At about this time, 11:40 on March 1, I was working right here when I heard the first blast. I ran to my window and surveyed the campus. Nothing was out of the ordinary. I was lost in my works again when I heard the second blast. After spotting nothing unusual, I thought it must have been army firing at Tencholing.
Only in the morning I found out that it was right at my friend's door. But even he didn't realize it was there until morning when he found his door latched from outside. Upon opening the door he found three sheets of warning notes pasted at his door and on the school notice board. We reported it to the police and police requested army to identify the remains of explosives. They concluded that the devices used were those used in construction works.
This ordeal raised two big questions: How did the explosives land in the hands of children? How safe are teachers in doing our duties? While the first question would be answered soon by the police, the latter shall remain unanswered. This incident has sent a wave of question across the teacher community and some were talking about thinking thrice before disciplining children. Our friend, who was attacked that night, is still weighing his moral duty as a teacher against his personal safety. He was our backbone when it came to keeping the students on track but now the backbone seems to be cracked even though the Dzongkhag education officers came here to give him and all of us their support.

As the story unfolds I was shocked to hear that two boys, who were arrested after they broke into a store, were the mastermind of the March 1st blasts (Read in Kuensel). I know the two boys for last four years, and one joined our school last February. They are chronic thieves and everybody in the town knows them by their name. They can break open the best locks and find cash from the safest corners. They seem to have the database of every dweller of the town because they know who is out at what time of the day. No matter how careful you are when they walk into your shop, you will always find something missing after they are gone. One time they were caught red handed and guess what, they assaulted the house owner and escaped. They are never worried about getting arrested, as long as they could run away and enjoy the cash, because they know that once the case is gone, it's gone.
Interestingly they were caught and arrested 90% of the times and been to jail almost every week but they were released because they are under 16, which they know and are taking advantage of. If they were kept locked up Bajothang is a better place altogether but even police is helpless. Now this time they have crossed their highest limit and I hope they won't roam freely among us.
I know they are just kids, they have dreams but they are not ready to change themselves yet. They are going bigger and bolder with time and forgiveness. They must undergo so sort of special correction before releasing them back among general public. This asks for Correction Camp of young lawbreakers. A prison where classes are taken so that inmates don't lag behind when they finally come out as good citizens because we can't afford to let them walk free if they are going to keeping having fun at the expense of public security.

Father's Name

My father died in 1984, a year after I was born. He shouldn't have jumped into the river, because rest of the passengers survived that fateful bus accident near Katso bridge. I only saw a picture of him when I became 16. Now I am 29, one year older than my father when he passed away but in last many years I had to write his name over a thousand times. From admission form in school, to security clearance form, to job application form,  to income tax from, to promotion form,... every paper on earth seems to want my dead father's name. Sometime I feared it might not let my father rest in peace.
My poor mother gave me the life I am living today, but nobody seems to place any importance in her except myself. No paper ever had a space to write her name. I wish someday we acknowledge the role of a mother in a child's life and ask her name.

My Mother GAKI!

Emotions aside, even if I didn't have a father who held my fingers through life I at least had his name. Let me write it one more time: Lt. Phub Dorji. And some people would read it Lieutenant Phub Dorji. But there are hundred others who have their fathers alive but don't have names to write. These children are victims of so many deprivations in life and the only thing they generously get is humiliation. And I don't think I can write comprehensively on the influence of humiliation on life.

Therefore, I would like to join women activist Kesang Chhoden in seeking government's attention on the 178 cases she brought forth from the dark shadow around Kanglung College. While her demand for DNA Bank may not be easily possible, I hope she has some very practical proposals in place to take the matter ahead. Government should be wise enough not to try and justify the legitimacy of the children or defend itself, rather join the cause for change, so that long after today history will remember them.

Mathematically speaking mother is a constant, no one will ever question the mother of a child,  while father is just a variable and therefore questionable. Finding x can be very difficult and I wonder why all the papers want the name of a variable than a definite constant.

Who Will Help Her?

About six years ago my wife helped a girl get a job. She was very innocent, beautiful and young but life didn't let her live her youth in peace. She was the eldest sibling and had a young brother in her hand. She had to leave her school and start earning. She was very happy that my wife helped her.
A year later my wife got a call from her family. They wanted to know where their daughter was. She went missing. We didn't know that by help the girl we bought ourselves the trouble of taking all the risk. But because she went missing my wife involved herself fully in the search. By the end of the week long search their only faith was in astrology, and that was the righteous decision they took. The astrologer said the girl was safe and hiding in the place they least expected, and that her captivator will confess it the next morning.
Yes, the next morning they visited her employer and as soon as he saw them he confessed that the girl was at his place. Her already married employer had lured the little girl and now she was talking his words. Despite all the warnings from her family the girl didn't want to leave the man. That was her fault.
In the last five years she was disowned by her family and her husband left his first wife. She still worked for him, only that she is no more paid. We often heard her story of paying the huge price for her mistake from her sister but she never complained. As long as she works fine in the office and works fine at home without questioning anything she was spared. But every time she makes a mistake, every time she was seen going out of office, and every time she asked a question, she was beaten blue and black. Last winter when we met her she wouldn't tell us much but pitifully told was that she wouldn't mind the beating if it weren't in public places, but it happened wherever he gets upset. I was very disheartened and wanted to help her but she didn't seem to need help, god knows why.
But suddenly, last week my wife received a call from her. She wanted to know the RENEW's contact number. She was scared after what happened that morning- her husband threw stone at her in a restaurant and when he missed his shot he booted her. I immediately rushed to my computer and looked for what she asked. I got it but I wasn't sure if she would dare to ask for help, so I made my wife ask her if it was ok for me to get her the help. She quickly yesed it. I went to RENEW website and since it was in the evening I knew there won't be people at office and therefore I wrote an email (to enquiry@renewbhutan.org ) just like I wrote it here with her phone number.
It's over four days now and I have checked my inbox umpteen times. When I finally called the office (02332159) a coughing girl on the other end told me that they don't take complains from email. I was asked to send the girl to their office. I explained how it's not possible. The girl on the phone then asked me to hold on, and then I heard intercom ringing. It went on ringing until I finally hung up. Who will help her?

Update 14 Feb 2012: My apologies to RENEW if my article affected anybody, It was my fault not to have tried different ways. But I am very happy that they took this seriously and reached out to me. They even said that they are going to put up the concerned Mobile Numbers on their website. For now if you have any complains get in touch with Dr. Meenakshi, Community Outreach Director at Mobile no. 17666955. And Thanks Kesang C Dorjee.