08 June 2010

Breast Envy

In Sigmund Freud’s psychosexual development theory there is an interesting phrase that describes a girl child’s desire for penis, and the power that it represents. This is described as penis envy. I ain’t Freud’s fan a bit; everything in his theory sounds crazy but I own a strange feeling that no word could describe, and which somehow relates to his penis envy concept. 

After I became father I started wondering why I can’t breastfeed my daughter. I shared my funny state of mind with Germaine, a Singaporean friend, who inspired me with stories she read about male breast feeding being possible in some scientific research papers. It is known as male lactation.  She gave me a few living examples including a western doctor and a Hollywood actor. I tried a few times myself but my daughter would look at my face and smile away. 

It is too much a job for a mother to carry the baby for nine months in her belly, suffer the near death experience of delivery, and still having to sooth the baby every now and then, even in the middle of night. What are fathers for? Gone are the days when fathers go out in search of food, now a days if father puts the bread on the table it is mother who puts the butter. But god needs to redesign the human anatomy. Why did he have to give both to woman after all, what if the mother passes away? Why did he have to give two little nipples to man when he had no intention of filling it up?

My daughter likes playing with me, knowing I could lift her higher than her mother do and take her places out of home. But every now and then she looks for her mother despite my hardest effort in pleasing her. When she wakes from her naps I love being by her but she would cry as if she saw a stranger, only her mother’s presence would make her smile. She can spend days without me and that makes me feel inferior. I am almost unnecessary in my daughter’s growth. If only I could breastfeed her I would feel like a complete father.

Cc: to God, for necessary action.


  1. I t is an interesting thought that you have up about the little babies who are getting born from their mother's womb and are breast fed by them, nice to see how much caring you are for your child.

  2. Haha...this is so funny PaSsu...boy you made me laugh. But I really can't imagine you breastfeeding your baby in the basketball or football field or during your class interval. Maybe somethings are designed just like that. But yeah, you have a nice point there.

    That shows how much you care for your baby. Good, keep it up. I am a proud observer all through. As much as you envy your wife your wife for her breastfeeding ability, I envy you having a baby in the first place to call your own. That's important.

  3. Hi Passu,I have always had this dream of writing but after reading what i have written, i always get so hopeless...it does not come out nice. But today i feel so happy that there is someone out there who can express himself perfectly. I never get tired of reading your pieces. There are some things that i can relate to so much in your writing. I love them all. I Salute thee!

  4. @Male Extra, Thank you for your compliment. I visited your site too, it is about male extra, not breast extra...ha ha ha

    @Penstar, you are my energy. If at all breastfeeding is possible by me, I will do it proudly, then you will find it graceful than funny. anyway, let's see how you feel after you have your babe.

    @Nirvana, It takes more than ten drafts for me to get the expression out, and often I land up not liking it at all. Only writing can make writing better... You seem to like Writing, therefore nothing can stop you. Thank you so much for liking my article. It inspires me a lot.

  5. funny but good thinkin' father.
    keep imagining!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Liked
    "if father puts the bread on the table it is mother who puts the butter"

    Great Read!

  7. I have never found someone who has expressed what you just said as well as you did. I, too, share your feelings. My wife and I recently had our first son, and I have felt exactly the same way: why did God make me the way I am? Why give me nipples if they are not there for a purpose? The feelings of inferiority, the wondering what fathers are for. I know my wife and son love me very much, and that I am important in my son's development, but I, too, wish that there were some way to share in breastfeeding our son.


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