Tear Drops on my Chair

I have known this high school principal for sometime and have gathered a lot of regards for the man he is, the Education officers he was, and the principal he has been so far. He is known for reforming and reconstructing system into very friendly environment that every time he leaves a place people feel the emptiness he has left behind.
This time I came into close contact with him, over and over, and he spared me enough of his time to talk about his school and listen about my school, yes we were talking about students' problems and relative solutions, without ignoring the origin of the problems. It's interesting but disheartening to know that we actually have ideas about where the problems come from and how we could prevent them but there are major stakeholders who wouldn't do enough.
His few sentences touched me so much and made me think over it for days; he said, "I think I should quit this job before I make myself a merciless devil, who sits on this chair and watch parents cry for the mistakes their children committed. How many parents cried here in front of me! Those parents leave behind all the self respect for their children and beg of me to give them another chance.
"Our intention of helping the child together fails to convince the parents, they don't want to take their children home for some days and talk things out- they are backing off from the little help we are asking in helping their children. And finally when we leave them with no option they leave with bitter hearts.
"In a small society like ours I am already hurting too many people, who wouldn't understand, there are too many tear drops on my chair..."

Though enclosed within quotation marks, the words are not exact to the scale but I made sure the meaning and the intention is preserved.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Passing Star

Call it our luck or my daughter's sharpness; Comedian Gem Dorji was passing by through our parking lot and my two and a half year old lil girl who always laughed watching his movies and imitated him spotted the passing star. Then my wife insisted on calling him. I was left confused and nervous halfway through my work in kitchen garden.
I didn't have time to worry much about how he would react, I just greeted him and told him my family is a big fan of his with special emphasis on my daughter's fondness for his jokes.
Not so surprisingly he turned out to be a humble guy who came forward and played with my daughter and agreed to pose with my daughter. Thank you for making our day and leaving behind a special memory. And thank you for being a joker.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

 

On My Birthday- June 6

My birthday has never been a special day during my childhood, I never had a cake in my name, nobody would remember the date, and I would cry but things started getting brighter as I learned to expect less. Now my birthdays are special because I have mastered the theory of expecting nothing, and therefore if nothing happens then nothing happens, and whatever little things come my way becomes pleasant surprise.

Birthday Picture for the Record.

But life is strange, best happens when you least expect and I often wish if some of these happened to me when I was desperately wishing for them. Now I have a beautiful family who would remember my birthday for me and treat the day like a national holiday and I have friends all over who would send their best wishes as if they have waited whole year to do that. I don't know why they are so excited about letting me know that I am growing old lol.
This is my last year in twenties and I am getting a strange reluctance to agree, because this one year unlike other years will change the whole story about me- now I know why some items' cost has _99 as suffix, one Nu. makes a great difference when considered at critical point. However, with this birthday I have broken the record of my father who died at 28- I think I am going to live longer.
For all the wishes and kind words, early and belated, long and short- some as short as 'HBD', from near and far, thank you so much. Your words made me feel wanted and useful in this world, they gave me joy and pride, and they gave me good reasons to live longer and bigger. Thank you all so much.

Shanghai to Paro Taktshang

Three friends from Shanghai were on holiday in Bhutan last week. A man and two ladies were walking their way to Paro Taktshang when we met last Sunday. There were people from across the world that day, but these three came into focus because of what happened to them then. My family and these three friends made it to the place, where the uphill climb ends, almost at the same time, of course we rode horses. We took a long rest there, the spot where Je Gaden Rinchen was born.
The three Chinese seemed to be in hurry, with their guide panting after them. Just then the man slipped and fell, almost falling down the hill. He lay flat on the muletrack crying in pain- his left ankle was twisted. His two lady friends were shocked and screaming. Their guide was loaded with their cameras to do anything. Another ten minutes walk would have taken them to Paro Taktshang.
They immediately attracted lots of attention but they needed help more than mere attention. That's when I ran to them with my sister in-law, who was once a doctor in China and therefore carries whole set of first aid in her handbag. She assessed the injury and massaged it with balm. The huge man was still crying in pain but my sister in-law had pain killer with her. She even gave him a few more tablets for the evening. The man was shivering and his faced looked scary. We wrapped him in our kabney and I used my teacherly skill to calm him, " It's a very lucky sign that you fell right here where a great saint was born- Je Gaden Rinchen. We consider it very lucky." The magic worked on the two ladies. They were nodding and even smiling. My brothers carried the man to a comfortable spot and ask him to rest while we sort out what to do next. It was confirmed that the man cannot walk anymore, and his journey from Shanghai to Paro Taktshang ends here.
I asked the guide to call his office for backup, but I was only talking to the office himself. Like many tour operators his was one man army- he is the guide, the agent, the office and the final backup. He was funnily blaming the man for not walking carefully, instead of worrying. I didn't want our guest to feel helpless, so I told him to wait for my family to return so that we could carry him down.
The two ladies were biting their nails, seemingly not wanting to go back without completing their journey but their guide was even more perplexed. Then I decided to guide the two ladies with my family so that the guide could stay back with the injured. They happily agreed, even the injured.
It was my fourth visit to Taktshang and I can comfortably be a good guide but I had with me seven members of my family who were there for the first time. It took me over an hour to explain everything to the nine of them with special attention to my sister in-law and the two ladies, knowing that they can never make it back for second time. Because I agreed to be their guide I couldn't help see them struggle with their heavy cameras- so I carried them as well. As if nine of them weren't enough a group from Bangkok asked me to explain to them a lot of things.
I then met two senior guides to who I explained about the injured man and the indecisive guide, and requested them for help. By the time we walked out of the monastery I got a call from the guide saying he got assistance from the senior guides and that they were carrying him down. I told him not to worry about his guests who were with me.
In one of the Goenkhangs I was explaining about the prophecies of Guru Rinpochee, and knowing my two guests were Chinese I asked if they were a big fan of Chairman Mao Zedong. They excitedly replied yes. I sorrily told them that "about 1300 years ago Guru Rinpochee prophecised that a man call Mao will come one day and become the greatest threat to Buddhism". Two ladies looked at me in disbelief, "1300 years ago?" "Did all his prophecies come true?" By the time they walked out, they told me I have changed their mind.
I had to carry my daughter and walk slowly with my wife and sister in-law, so I let my brothers deliver the two ladies to the base where the guide and the injured where waiting in the car. By the time we reached the base they were gone. The guide didn't call me after that. But I am happy that the Chinese will remember fondly about Bhutan and Bhutanese despite the unfortunate journey.

My Team-Eight of them including my daughter

A Cup of Tea at Taktshang

I was talking about a cup of tea in the cafe halfway to Paro Taktshang on my Facebook wall and the few comments there inspired me to write it in my blog.
The Cafe is beautifully located, facing the gigantic cliff and the breathtaking Taktshang Monastery. The benches are strategically setup that one could just sit there and lose oneself. Who won't like to sit there and enjoy a cup of tea? If only a cup of tea was just a cup of tea! The cafe belongs to BTCL and they only had tourist in their list of costumers. In their description tourist means someone who earns in dollar, and therefore no Bhutanese can be tourist. A cup of tea cost Nu.84 and there is no concession for Bhutanese who could buy a whole meal with so much.
Bhutanese are expected to bring their own packed lunch and tea, and it is written in bold: "No picnic Lunch allowed here", which also goes out to Bhutanese. So I say, there is a beautiful Bhutanese Cafe half way to Taktshang that is only meant for tourist. And this is one among many beautiful and luxurious facilities in Bhutan catering to just foreign tourists, because there are some people up there who think Bhutanese don't deserve to have fun.

My Family Drinking Golden Tea

But the twist in the story was that I always wanted to visit that cafe, and coincidentally we were hungry and tired so we had to sit on those beautiful benches and drink funny tea- it didn't even taste good, we had to ask for more tea bags. Lesson learnt is that, there is no gold in that tea therefore don't forget your packed lunch and tea if you are head to Taktshang.

What You Can't Teach Your Family

Wife:

I have been driving for the last four years and have covered over 30,000KM. I had my wife sitting next to me most of the time. She had been by my side from the first day I began driving. She sweated and shivered along with me. We went through the ordeal together. 

I remember her saying, "When I start learning to drive, I think I won't take so long because I have feared my share with you already." It's been four years now, but she still can't drive.

I often heard that a husband can't teach his wife how to drive, which I didn't believe because I am the most patient husband I know. I tried all I could to find time, place, words and mood to coach her. One session, and we are done. After all, the theory applies universally- I failed. She asked me to drive her home before she knew which one among the three pads was the brake. 

After that event, neither of us mentioned anything about driving. Every Sunday morning, I would wish I had tried a little harder- so I could sleep a little longer. 

Happy to know that Ganjung Driving School has come to Bajothang. My wife shall be the first graduate from the school, I promise.

Children:

I am a maths teacher and have taught the subject for the last five years. And in the last five years, my son failed in maths consistently. My son is otherwise a very intelligent child with a very high IQ, but there seems to be something missing in his ability to do maths. 

I was trained and experienced in dealing with average students, but when it came to coaching my son, there seemed to be something wrong in my training or my experience. I have helplessly watched him fail every year. He's been sent to a hostel now. Perhaps he might finally do maths peacefully and surprise me with a pass mark in maths. It's hence proven that a father can never teach his children, especially if he is a teacher.

Father's Name

My father died in 1984, a year after I was born. He shouldn't have jumped into the river, because rest of the passengers survived that fateful bus accident near Katso bridge. I only saw a picture of him when I became 16. Now I am 29, one year older than my father when he passed away but in last many years I had to write his name over a thousand times. From admission form in school, to security clearance form, to job application form,  to income tax from, to promotion form,... every paper on earth seems to want my dead father's name. Sometime I feared it might not let my father rest in peace.
My poor mother gave me the life I am living today, but nobody seems to place any importance in her except myself. No paper ever had a space to write her name. I wish someday we acknowledge the role of a mother in a child's life and ask her name.

My Mother GAKI!

Emotions aside, even if I didn't have a father who held my fingers through life I at least had his name. Let me write it one more time: Lt. Phub Dorji. And some people would read it Lieutenant Phub Dorji. But there are hundred others who have their fathers alive but don't have names to write. These children are victims of so many deprivations in life and the only thing they generously get is humiliation. And I don't think I can write comprehensively on the influence of humiliation on life.

Therefore, I would like to join women activist Kesang Chhoden in seeking government's attention on the 178 cases she brought forth from the dark shadow around Kanglung College. While her demand for DNA Bank may not be easily possible, I hope she has some very practical proposals in place to take the matter ahead. Government should be wise enough not to try and justify the legitimacy of the children or defend itself, rather join the cause for change, so that long after today history will remember them.

Mathematically speaking mother is a constant, no one will ever question the mother of a child,  while father is just a variable and therefore questionable. Finding x can be very difficult and I wonder why all the papers want the name of a variable than a definite constant.

Who Will Help Her?

About six years ago my wife helped a girl get a job. She was very innocent, beautiful and young but life didn't let her live her youth in peace. She was the eldest sibling and had a young brother in her hand. She had to leave her school and start earning. She was very happy that my wife helped her.
A year later my wife got a call from her family. They wanted to know where their daughter was. She went missing. We didn't know that by help the girl we bought ourselves the trouble of taking all the risk. But because she went missing my wife involved herself fully in the search. By the end of the week long search their only faith was in astrology, and that was the righteous decision they took. The astrologer said the girl was safe and hiding in the place they least expected, and that her captivator will confess it the next morning.
Yes, the next morning they visited her employer and as soon as he saw them he confessed that the girl was at his place. Her already married employer had lured the little girl and now she was talking his words. Despite all the warnings from her family the girl didn't want to leave the man. That was her fault.
In the last five years she was disowned by her family and her husband left his first wife. She still worked for him, only that she is no more paid. We often heard her story of paying the huge price for her mistake from her sister but she never complained. As long as she works fine in the office and works fine at home without questioning anything she was spared. But every time she makes a mistake, every time she was seen going out of office, and every time she asked a question, she was beaten blue and black. Last winter when we met her she wouldn't tell us much but pitifully told was that she wouldn't mind the beating if it weren't in public places, but it happened wherever he gets upset. I was very disheartened and wanted to help her but she didn't seem to need help, god knows why.
But suddenly, last week my wife received a call from her. She wanted to know the RENEW's contact number. She was scared after what happened that morning- her husband threw stone at her in a restaurant and when he missed his shot he booted her. I immediately rushed to my computer and looked for what she asked. I got it but I wasn't sure if she would dare to ask for help, so I made my wife ask her if it was ok for me to get her the help. She quickly yesed it. I went to RENEW website and since it was in the evening I knew there won't be people at office and therefore I wrote an email (to enquiry@renewbhutan.org ) just like I wrote it here with her phone number.
It's over four days now and I have checked my inbox umpteen times. When I finally called the office (02332159) a coughing girl on the other end told me that they don't take complains from email. I was asked to send the girl to their office. I explained how it's not possible. The girl on the phone then asked me to hold on, and then I heard intercom ringing. It went on ringing until I finally hung up. Who will help her?

Update 14 Feb 2012: My apologies to RENEW if my article affected anybody, It was my fault not to have tried different ways. But I am very happy that they took this seriously and reached out to me. They even said that they are going to put up the concerned Mobile Numbers on their website. For now if you have any complains get in touch with Dr. Meenakshi, Community Outreach Director at Mobile no. 17666955. And Thanks Kesang C Dorjee.

Last Post of the Year 2011

This is my last post for the year 2011 and I am so happy that I wrote over 90 articles this year with many of them printed in national papers. At this time I could hear the last minute count down to the New year and here I am doing the thing I love the most -blogging. Fire works are cracking in the Phuntsholing sky and hundreds of people are screaming but I am celebrating the 202882 hits and 228 followers on my blog.

Singapore

79,446

Bhutan

31,455

United States

29,856

India

9,195

Australia

8,511

Germany

3,068

Russia

3,021

United Kingdom

2,355

Thailand

1,720

Ukraine

1,535

As the year ends I would like to thank all my readers for inspiring me and cheering me up in doing this thing that means the world to me. You have made me a serious thinker from a casual blogger, and given me so many reason to find joy in simple things. My host family and their friends are all gone for party but I am here with my family writing this because this is what I want to do each day of 2012 and not partying. We hold a strong belief that we will keep doing the same thing that we did on the new year day, and I sure don't want to be drunk and out partying every day, therefore I am here putting my babe to sleep.

In 2012 I am eager to see how the biggest lie of mankind will be exposed. I have never believed in the end of the world but many secretly do and each day of the year is going to be very painful for them, I just wish they could live their life each day at a time.

And finally My New Year Resolution (motivated by my friend Neil): All this years I drank Whisky with Coke and I became sick, I tried with soda and still felt bad, and tried with water, which still made me unwell. Now I promise I will never drink Coke, Soda and Water!
Seriously I am resolute that I will not change any good thing in me and will try to work on doing away with every bad energy that comes out of me.
As always I will never overstay in the school impressing my principal. I will reach home five minutes after the final bell and be with my wife and children. I will always take my family along with me on all my workshops. I will call my mother every two days and tell her something to make her smile. I will spend lesser time watching TV and browsing. I will read more books than webpages. I will only drink at home and on weekends. And I will write more than 100 articles on my blog in 2012.

See you next year:) with the sunrise tomorrow morning!

Invitation to Bhutan

My sister in-law is a Japanese, living and working in Taiwan. She visited my brother for the first time after their long Facebook relationship in September and spent over a week with my family. She enjoyed her times with us so much that she sacrificed her job and bonuses to meet us again in October. Fifteen day stay made her even more happy and wanted to come here again.

This time I thought I should invite her as our personal guest so that she won't have to pay so much as she did during her first two visits- she paid cost of a car already. However, I didn't know that the Immigration in my country won't acknowledge her relationship with us. My application for invitation was rejected. By the rule they have in their book, we should have met her outside Bhutan to qualify for invitation, which otherwise means that she can't be my sister in-law because she met us in Bhutan. What could be the possible logic behind recognizing acquaintance outside Bhutan? What I think should be important is the authenticity of the relationship. 

At Dochula, during her second visit.

Many people I contacted for information advised me to find a person who has been to Taiwan and prepare the application in their name, or to cook up a story of having met her in Singapore during my visit there but I defended knowing our true story was far better than those lies- after all they are humans at the other end! If I had known there are all robots interpreting the rules rigidly I would have listened and lied.

It's not all about money. I just wanted to show her the Bhutanese we are, our courtesy and hospitality to guest, and that's not possible after letting her pay thousands of dollars. She was supposed to visit us for the third time in February 2012 but she couldn't wait that long. And here my application was rejected. I couldn't tell her that she could will have to pay a huge price to meet us again but it turned out that she was more Bhutanese than the people who rejected my application. She consoled me saying, "Hey brother, don't worry, money can be made." 

And thus she came here for the third time as tourist and these days she is with us in Wangdue having a wonderful vacation with my family.

P:S: If you happen to be a wanna-be guest or a host and stumbled upon this post while Googling, please note that this article is not to encourage you to cheat your way out in this process, but I am not responsible if your application is rejected after telling the truth either!

Dear Daughter, you were wonderful today

You just slept. It took a long time, you were feeling strange, I know, it's your first day without milk in your entire life. But we could see you were trying so hard, you already finished over five bottles of orange juice by the time you closed your eyes. Thank you babe, for being such a nice girl today. You have always been so cooperative when it came to taking big steps in your life like the toilet training last week. We sat you on the potty one time and the next time you asked for it. These for many other kids proved to be very difficult and often painful but you are special.

My Daughter's Recent Picture

 There are 14 days left for your second birthday, which is when we had planned to quit breastfeeding you but today out of the blue your mummy excitedly shared with me what she has done to you in my absence- she applied soya sauce over her nipple and showed to you saying it's so painful. You looked at her with worried expression and asked her to cover it up. You then asked for bottle. By the time I came home for lunch you have already passed six hours test without milk. By then you were resolute, you were saying No even when you mummy teasingly tempted you.
Darling, we are very sorry to have done this on to you but you must understand that this has to be done one day or the other and it is always better to be done earlier. We were with you undergoing the same pain every minute today, trying to comfort you each time you were frustrated.
Babe, you have to know that you are the only lucky baby in whole of locality who had the luxury to suckling for entire first six months of your life without mixing with a drop of water. Your mother was very insistent on doing this so that you live a very healthy life. You are the storeroom of million surprises babe, for the last one month you constructed many sentences and even had your four new teeth. You have shown craze for technology, which I think I should control and of all the thing today you surprise us by being so nice, which we thought would be very difficult. Now you have climbed one stage up in your life, and thank you for making it so easy for us. Love you.

Bhutan's Biggest Earthquake

This was the strongest and the longest earthquake I felt in this life of mine. I was with my wife and daughter at a hotel visiting my brother and our Japanese in-law. At first I was calm, telling my wife not to worry but as it went on and on I was the first to run underneath the door frame and then gathered everyone around me. My in-law was unexpectedly cool about it, she shares how such quakes happen often in Japan. But what she doesn't know is that the pillar she is holding on to may not be as strong as those in Japan.
Our son was all by himself and away from us, we desperately tried to connect to him but in such times even mobile fails us. Then I got worried about my mother but it was five hour later that I could talk to her. She tells me this was the biggest quake she felt in her 50 years on earth. Upon reaching home it was a big relieve to see nothing happened and that we could share news to friends and family via Facebook.
Our Prime Minister, who is currently in New York quickly clammed us all by sharing news from across the country through Facebook. He was even aware of the status of Mobile Phone service in the country, to which I asked what alternatives do we have in such times. His excellency was kind enough to make a reply on my wall. But despite his comforting promise I wonder how could we possibly ensure a secure communication line in such times, when we saw earlier this year how super countries like Japan could fail.

PM's reply.

Another major concern is our lack of preparedness despite so much of awareness done through different medias. Listening to how people reacted today, everybody seems to have ran out of their home for their lives, but that is the unsafest way out- many know about it and only few trust it.

The final and the most dangerous practice in our communities is our quickness in cooking up rumors and spreading them. In times of disasters we must try and help calm people around us, ensuring everybody's safety, get needful information from authentic sources and report casualties to authorities without waiting for someone else to do it. On the contrary, we are good at panicking ourselves and dragging others into it by listening to and spreading rumors. Today, many families are sleeping outside fearing the aftershock which was rumored to happen by midnight. Some people are already talking about GLOF triggered by the earthquake and few crazy people have started talking about the end of the world. As an educated individual it becomes our personal responsibility to verify the rumors and make it stop from spreading further because sometimes it could cause more damage than the disaster itself.

It may shake us but it can't break us.

Jigme's Surprise Morning Speech

On the morning of 18 August it was Jigme's turn to give speech in the assembly and coincidentally I was the teacher on duty. I saw him excited about it for a few days. He told me that he was supposed to speak on a great personality, therefore he wanted to talk about Albert Einstein. I prepared a small note on Einstein to supplement his speech as any duty teacher would do. And as he spoke it took me by surprise:

Jigme loves football: Jersey No.17

"The great personality I am going to speak about today is someone who brings changes in everyone’s life, especially to my life. He is charming. He is tall and he is funny. He has not won any Oscars nor has he built any great structure but what he has done to my life far surpasses the legend of Albert Einstein or arts of Picasso. He didn’t invent the telephone, he wasn’t the man who landed on the moon, and he didn’t even act in any movie yet... He has simply touched hearts and made differences in lives. For me he has brought a light in my life and has given me the reason to be happy. His words are pure and simple and he is the best person I or you will ever encounter in life. He will walk into your life and walk you out of your sorrows forever.
He is my Google for he has answers to my entire questions; He is my Facebook for he connects me to the world. No one can fully understand the effect of this man than I who lives in his reliance.  He is the man I look up to as my role model, my icon and my idol. And he is none other than my dad, our teacher and your friend Mr. Passang Tshering." 

As he finished it was my turn to supplement his speech, and my note on Einstein won't work. I grabbed the mic and didn't really know how to begin for a long time. I could feel an emotional knot tightening somewhere inside my chest. With my voice lilting I began finally:

The great personality my son is speaking about is me. He told me he was going to speak about Albert Einstein and I am surprised that he chose me over Einstein. Many of you already know, and for those who don't know, Jigme is my step son (avoid the "step" when you say). But two of us share many things in common and thus we have build a relationship which stands the test of time.
There are many of us who perceive Divorce as something very negative but Jigme accepted it. Many blame their parents for breaking the family and try to take ruthless revenge but Jigme didn't do that. Ever since our time, children from broken families use their family problem as license to be naughty but one thing you must understand is that it wasn't easy for your parents to go separate ways either, but when things don't work well between the two there is hardly any option left. It isn't about a day or two, marriages are for life time and no one would want to waste this one life in an unhappy relationship. Jigme accepted the truth and accepted me into his life and it should be a message to everyone who share similar fate to respect your parents' decision and give them their rights to happiness. And because of our very special relation we make up a very happy family and I wish happiness to all of you.
And Jigme, thank you for speaking about me, I know how you feel about me even if you hadn't spoken.

I had so many thing I wanted to share about me and Jigme but I had to keep note of the time as well.

P:S: Jigme and I have always thought of each other as our own and I don't appreciate when people address me as his step father or him as my step son.  

I Nearly Failed as a Father

It takes huge guts to confess that I nearly failed my duty as a father. I don't blame my mother for my long nose, I rather thank her for keeping it intact on my face throughout my restless childhood. But damn I nearly lost my daughter beautiful nose two days ago. I woke up from my nap to my daughter's cry, then almost went back to sleep when I heard her cry again.
When I checked she wasn't in the kitchen with her mother. I ran out on to the balcony to meet my little girl running to me with her face covered in blood. My heart broke right away. I hated myself for having taken a nap, I blamed my wife for not having noticed her slipped away. I wasn't sure what happened to her and what to do.
Upon investigation we found that our baby fell of face-down from the veranda, thank go we live on the ground floor, just about a foot from the ground. I had left some carpentry work unfinished, among which there were several planks with nails on. Her face was scratched by one nail, from middle of her brows till right nostril. Then she had toppled down and hit her head on the cement ground. Despite the fall she has managed to climb back and came to us crying. During this whole process of falling, bleeding, crying, and climbing back, her father was sleeping and that gave me the greatest pain. It was the mercy of god that the nail didn't go into her eyes or her soft skull.
It was such a relieve when we discovered that the cut on her face was not deep and that it wouldn't leave any scar. Swelling on her temple soon subsided and she started playing with me again, and I swear I will never leave her alone. I want to urge all my friends who are parents to be extra careful with your babies because I have had friends in school and college whom god had created beautiful but their parents failed their duties when they were babies and thus they had to live with their parents' mistakes forever. God saved me this time!

Finding Happiness in Kitchen Garden

The long excited wait for the end of the month ends in an hour of bliss, this is the story of every ordinary Bhutanese working on salary. Our salary, which lands in our hand in slow motion disappears like a ghost. That one hour of ownership you have over your salary, before it goes on to fill up the holes you have created throughout the month, is all the joy you could have by right.
How do you extend your ownership over your salary? You are not a delivery boy who collect the salary from your office and go from shops to fuel pump to BPC to Telecom to your landlord to deliver their share as if it were their salary you collected. You money has the right to say in your purse for a night at least.
Since you can't produce petrol you have to buy it. If you don't own a house you have to rent one. Telephone and power bills are unavoidable. You have to pay for clothes since you can't weave on your own. But what about a tomato? or an onion? a bunch of Coriander leaves? Can't we grow them? or do you want to put so much pressure on your salary?
You will call me miser but I call myself awake. I started a kitchen garden- a small one. It gives me a reason to wake up early and feel the dewdrops on the leaves. It gives me time to relax in the evening with a cup of tea along with my wife. It shall give all the basic vegetables I will ever need in a few weeks time- green and fresh.

My Daughter got shaved

A theory has it that if a child has thin hair, only way to get it thick is to shave it off once. We agreed and thought of doing it to our daughter long ago. Last winter, my wife said it's too cold to have her shaved, and when summer came she said it's hot and our babe can't wear cap. Thus, we kept pushing away the idea, because deep inside both of us didn't want to do it.
Last Sunday we saw a clean shaved toddler in Punakha that inspired us and we decided. Our girl was sleeping when we drove her to the saloon. I told the barber, I will do his job and pay him the price-fearing my daughter might not like him, but interestingly she never woke through out the process.
As the machine ran through her hair I felt very sorry, and my wife nearly cried. She looked so pitiably adorable yet we felt bad for snatching her girlish looks. After it was all over she woke up- now she looked very naughty. The barber warned us not to let her look in the mirror for sometime, he told us of stories where babies scared themselves to sickness.

If you tease her about her hair, this is what she does!

We made her feel her new head with her hand and gradually took her to mirror. Alas, even a girl of her age feels the difference, she looked sad and ran away from the mirror- and yes, agreed to wear cap for the first time in 18 months. We often see her go to the mirror and return with hanging face. Now she asks for cap every time she wants to go out.
Years from now, when she walks with her silky hair she would look in the mirror and love us for having shaved her once. For now, babe, we are sorry. But you look so so so Cute!

Thousand Wishes on My Birthday

There were so many years I lived without even knowing my birthday, and then there was a period where nobody remembered my birthday except myself. I use to cry like a baby. I wasn't lucky to have a cake on my birthday, and wasn't lucky to have people who cared to come and gift me. I am from among people who die for the riches.

Now, it's all a different story, I have a birthday to celebrate, loving people to sit with, money to buy cake and go out. Thanks to Facebook, everybody remembers my birthday. I received over 300 messages on my wall and it made me feel really good. My sister, who used to wish me on wrong days, called me yesterday morning. BOBL has a nice automated SMSing system in place- it wished me yesterday.

It was the nicest birthday I ever had. If birthdays are so much fun, I don't mind growing old!

Ghajini Awards goes to My Family

Some years ago, I used to be surprised and even annoyed at my mother's forgetfulness- there would be towel on the gas stove, plate in the toilet, ladle in the closet, leave the stove burning, ... she would laugh out loud and say, "O, I forgot it". I would beg of her to be mindful, "Mother, Please, please don't forget." But she would forget again. When I insist too hard to be mindful, she would ask in irritation, "How could I help? It happens, I don't intend to." She deserves the Life Time Ghajini Award.
It has been a few years since I became forgetful too, and then I came to realize what my mother meant. But my wife won't believe me when I say, "I can't help it." I even forget my car in the school and reach home on foot, thank god I reside near by. It would be Best New Comer Ghajini Award.
"Have you seen my phone?" is the question I hear from my wife twenty times a day now. My wife has joined the Ghajini gang too. And now she would realize how forgetting happens. But compared to my brother and son, she is nothing. Yet I thought she deserves the Most Promising Ghajini Award.
My brother forgets everything, every time, and when asked he would giggle and say he has forgotten. Amir Khan must have worked damn hard to perform that good in the movie, but if it were my brother he would have done so naturally. No one can snatch the Best Ghajini Award from him- swear!

The Ghajini Family

Next in line is our son, who at this very age forgets everything he doesn't like. He forgets his homework, leaves his book in the class when it is needed at home and at home when it is asked in the class. He forgets to bathe, brush, and polish his own shoes. He doesn't know where he left his unwashed clothes as long has he has a new set on his back. One thing I like about his pattern of forgetting is He could choose what he wants to forget- or so it seems. He should be awarded Outstanding Ghajini Award.
Only mindful person in my family is my little daughter, who surprises us with her ability to trace the lost phones, gas lighter, remote controller, slippers, etc. - and my wife say, it's because she is the one who hides it.

My Brother is a Promise

My twenty four year old giant brother has a child's heart in his chest. He has long outgrown my size but his mind defied the laws of nature, the world around him doesn't seem to bother him a bit. He sits down with an eleven year old and spend the whole day enjoying their fantasy. He is perfectly happy even after repeating thrice in the BHSEC.
But love took him on a joyride, only to wake him from his wonderful dream. When he shared about his girlfriend who was a qualified working lady, it got me worried. I warned him. And it got me more worried when I discovered she was a very good lady. My jobless and innocent brother has fallen in love with a working lady, and how in the world is he going to keep her happy? My thoughts were rustic, I know, but rustically true. I was being traditional, but there is no denying that we have hardly changed. I pushed him hard when he was doing his exam for the third time. I begged of him to feel the gravity of the real world. I assured him that he is a good promise. But result broke it.
World is far meaner than my brother learnt from his little friends, and I was worrying his share for him, because 'mean' is not something he has understood yet. Thus, a week has passed, gloomy and shocked- god and the lady knows what the reasons are but my poor brother could hardly justify why the good relationship is loosening.
My wife is worried and I am too, we seek justification more than him, but at the depth of my mind I know it's so well justified- he is a promise no more.
I look at my million dollar brother and see promises dancing all around him, so sorry that people fail to see through an unpolluted soul.

If I Write a Book on My Mother...

My Mother- Cendrella so far

If I write a book on my mother dear, only the first chapter won't have to be written with blood and tears. The first chapter of her life was happy, born with a silver spoon but her luck soon ran out and her Cendrella-ordeal began. Despite being a daughter of a Dzongda, she had to fight the hardship of village life alone. She was deprived of education and gradually parted with her little inheritance. My young mother had to cremate  four parents and two husbands before I came of age to wipe her tears.
If I ever have to write the second chapter I will have to write of all those people whom I have tried all my life to forgive, people who walk this earth with pride because my mother was humble, people who rub shoulders with titans because my mother was innocent, and people who enjoy the smoothness of silken nightgown because my mother chose to remain in rags. My mother's good heart that I inherited reminds me each day that revenge is not the solution. Every time I think of writing about my mother, I think of those people who made my mother's life miserable and even on mother's day I wrote nothing.
My mother is living the last few chapters of her life and I am going to restore her birth rights- she deserves happiness in each word of each page, and I am going to make sure these few chapters justify the whole purpose of her life. I swear I will give up all my faith in god if he takes her away before I could give her all the happiness in the world.